Hey, this probably sounds really stupid, but I'm confused as to the difference of romantic and sexual attraction. Aren't they the same? Or at least thats what I thought. Also, my friend was talking about how if you're bisexual, you feel different kinds of attraction to either gender, so you are emotionally connected to one, but feel physically attracted to the other. Is she right? I thought to be bi you were sexually attracted to both. I know how busy you all must be, but I'm really questioning myself and would like to know as much as possible.
Er, no. She isn't. You're right. If you're bisexual, you're sexually attracted to both. Romantic and sexual attraction isn't the same thing. The best cut-and-dry difference is this: Sexual attraction is when you want to have sexual interactions with them. Romantic attraction is when you want to be in a romantic relationship with them. They can go hand in hand, or one can exist without another. There are plenty of people who don't experience sexual attraction (asexual) and others who don't experience romantic attraction (aromantic), so if you end up being one of them, don't feel alone. We're here! c:
Your friend is on to something, but is not entirely correct. Some bisexual people feel a similar level of either emotional or physical attraction to people of all genders; gender is essentially irrelevant. Other bisexual people feel a strong preference for one or the other but because they don't rule out dating their non-preferred gender they don't call themselves straight or gay. There is a difference also between romantic and sexual orientation. Bisexual technically means physically attracted to both genders. Biromantic technically means emotionally attracted to both genders. Some people are bisexual heteroromantic, so they have fulfilling experiences with both genders but only form emotional bonds with members of their opposite gender and therefore tend to date members of that gender; others are bisexual homoromantic; and there are other qualifiers (demi, gray, a) that are there to help describe myriad types of attraction, both emotional and physical. And yes, technically you can prefer one gender physically but another gender emotionally; however this is often disputed. It usually seems to be a phase of seeking someone of a particular gender to be attracted to, that lasts until you find an individual of any gender attractive in both regards. One big caveat to all this: whether or not you find all these terms and distinctions helpful is totally up to you. Bisexual is a catchall for anyone who feels attraction to both genders, though not always to the same degree or in the same way. You can identify however you want, just don't get bogged down in labels.
