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I think I might be gay

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by nigig, Jul 8, 2014.

  1. nigig

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    I'm almost 20 and am not sure if I'm gay, bi, or just going through a phase. I don't feel attracted to women and never really had a crush on any in school; however I would always find myself staring at some of the guys in my classes and having thoughts of what it would be like to date them. I did have a girlfriend in high school and dated her for a few months but I never kissed her and was always a little distant. I have had "crushes" on guys but was never sure what to make of it. I personally think I am gay. I would just like to hear an outside opinion on this. I just don't know any gay people my age or even where/how to meet any. I'm also scared of coming out mainly because I have no idea how my dad would react to his son being gay. Any help would be appreciated.
     
    #1 nigig, Jul 8, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2014
  2. BethLauren

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    It's sounds like you could be gay. But of course, that's only something you could know.

    As for meeting gay people your age, are there any clubs/groups etc in your area? At your place of education (if you're in education, I guess)?

    I don't know what advice I can give you about your dad unfortunately, because I don't know either :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: if you're unsure about his reaction, wait till you're financially independent and certain of your sexuality, so that in the event that he responds badly, you don't have to stay.
     
  3. ResidentTheatreKid

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    It sounds to me as if you are gay :slight_smile:
     
  4. TJ

    TJ
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    I stand by what BethLauren said.
    It sounds to me like you are gay and you know it, which is great. You've started coming to terms with it yourself which is the first step toward coming out to everyone else.

    As far as meeting LGBT people goes - like Beth suggested, there are typically a number of LGBT organizations around most cities and at most colleges.
    I've never gone to one of those meetings, but I've met plenty of LGBT people by just going out for breakfast, going to work, and saying hello to people. We really are everywhere. :wink:

    Has your dad ever said anything to make you think he wouldn't be okay with it? Do you have any family members that are gay (uncles, aunts, etc.)?
    Like Beth said, if you're financially independent and don't live with him, you can come out to him when you feel the time is right.

    First, I would work on learning and accepting yourself a little bit more than you currently are.
    Welcome to EC! :grin:
     
  5. Damien

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    Hi ngig
    only you can discover whether you are for sure or not, by exploring those feelings, either via fantasy, or in real life. I'm finding that we can't actually put a label on ourselves, before we have 'walked the journey' for a while first. You kind of find out as you go, so I've found.
    Damien :slight_smile:
     
  6. nigig

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    He comes across as homophobic and we have never gotten along. I'm worried because he doesn't accept me for who I am as his "straight" son, and if I told him I'm gay I think he would just lose it. As for family members being gay there is no one in my family who is LGBT, but the majority of them are very accepting and open minded.