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Possibly bisexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by justanother, Jul 9, 2014.

  1. justanother

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    So I know that I am definitely attracted to/romantically interested in men, but lately I've been thinking that I may have feelings for women too...looking back over past behavior, I realize that feelings I've brushed off as "nothing" before may very well have been real attractions to women. The thing is, I don't know if I can really picture myself in a romantic relationship with a woman; is this because I'm just now opening myself up to the possibility or because I can't be romantically interested in women? Is it possible to be bisexual but only heteroromantic? And how can I know for sure if I even am attracted to women sexually or just confusing my feelings for something that's not there - that maybe, subconsciously, I'm just making this all up? I've been helping my friend deal with becoming comfortable with his homosexuality and coming out, so am I just creating scenarios for myself because I've been thinking about his situation? I keep going back and forth and can't seem to come up with a real answer.
     
  2. Night

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    the same thing is happening with me i used to think i was straight but now im doubting it and reavaluating stuff... idk anyways as for if ur making it up cuz its on ur mind maybe if u gave it some time and stopped thinking about it eventually u'll be able to tell either way? it hasnt really worked for me as i still dont know if im really bi or not or if im a gray A or not.... but at least like that ud be sure that ur not confused because of whats happening in ur life right now?
     
  3. justanother

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    I know that'll help, and I kind of like the idea of "no labels" as I've heard from a few people lately but I just can't seem to get it off my mind. It's pretty much all I've been able to think about. I just feel...unresolved, not knowing?
     
  4. Damien

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    Hi justanother, and welcome to ec,

    the only way you can 'know', in my limited experience, is to begin to shed some of the culturally-acquired shame around same-sex attraction, realize that there is not even the slightest thing 'wrong' with it at all, and to allow yourself to feel it, if it arises, without thinking you need to repress it. This journey isn't about 'making' yourself into anything, rather, it is about discovering what is already there, whether we are currently aware of it, or not. So don't worry, by exploring any feelings you may have, you won't be 'creating' any 'new' feelings, I mean you will either find you like it, or you won't. Feel free to explore, that's all I can advise, from my own limited experience. Just don't be in too much of a hurry to give yourself a label right away. Exploration comes first, 'knowing' where you fit in on the spectrum of sexuality, comes later.

    But hey I'm almost as new to all this as you are, so I hope someone more experienced can also advise you, I'm kind of just learning as I go myself here :icon_bigg

    Damien :slight_smile:
     
  5. Night

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    ya i know its easier said then done i actually had an easier time accepting that i might be bi than that i might be Ace, when i started thinking that it basically derailed my life for like a month before i let it go to the back of my mind... maybe try experimenting? or embrassing the no labels? umm my older sister always dated boys so i thought she was straight but like 3 months ago she started dating a girl. and like she always tells me about her issues so i know that she didnt identify as bisexual before. and still didnt really come out as anything other then like saying "this is my girlfriend and i love her" and stuff and thats fine, sexuality is on a spectrum u dont need to pic a side. but ya if u really want to label yourself experimentation could help?
     
  6. justanother

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    Thank you. I think I'm going to have to just give it some time and allow whatever happens to happen. So, experimentation - yes! Labeling myself - not yet! Allowing myself to wholly feel anything I might be feeling - absolutely!