I developed impotence age 19. My erections for my straight fantasies were rock hard. I got sick and developed mono after kissing a girl. For some reason during the illness (I was very sick and bed ridden for 2 months) I noticed that my erection quality diminished. When I masturbated about girls after the illness my erections were kind of soft. I still could ejaculate but it was still soft as I came. I had always masturbated about girls and got excited by it. Never guys. My impotence continued for 6 yrs. I hadnt got 1 rock hard erection during sleep, masturbation or sex during this time. Again all my fantasies were for women. Its a very long story but afetr years of seeing doctors about it I started to question my orientation. I have tested by masturbating about guys to see if it makes my dick work like it used to. It doesnt make it rock hard but sometimes I feel a sort of surge that reminds me of what sexual arousal used to feel like. Again I still dont get fully hard but can come even though my penis is a bit soft. If I let go it goes very soft in 10 seconds and is unusable. My erections had gotten so bad during my straight fantasies before I started testing to guys and for some reason my mind became totally bored with my straight fantasies that used to really arouse me. Anyway I am questionign my orientation now. Im 32. Is it possible that my penis went dormant to women because I was latently gay all along? Why is it still not working for guys even with gay porn if Im gay? Im beginning to wonder if Im really repressed my arousal for guys or asexual. Sometimes Im watching tv and a shirtless guy pops up and I get this sort of groinal surge but I dont start to get an erection. I just feel a swollen perineum. These surges could be fear IDK. Has this happened to anyone before? MAybe I need to get in bed with a guy to see if I get hard. I have taken viagra and watched gay porn and masturbated to it to see and I still dont get fulyl hard so I dont know if Im straight with E.D. , Gay with E.D. or asexual
Oh I just want to add that I first started questioning 7 yrs ago and have tested alot to gay fantasies etc but still no full erection. Sometimes my nocturnal erections are beteer but still not fully hard. Maybe 75% hard.
First of all, I am sorry. That must be unpleasant. Now then, I might suggest some introspection. Maybe spend a little less time worrying about the erections, and more time looking around. Go to a park and eat lunch looking at men and women. Which do you find more attractive? I think before you should worry about the erections you should determine if you are straight, gay, or possibly even bi. Next, I might consider seeing a therapist about the erections. The first thing that comes to mind is a mental block stemming from the mono experience. I know that sounds dumb, but it did not help the explanation yet you wrote it. Maybe subconsciously when you were a kid and got sexual feeling and became aroused by that girl, only to get mono for 2 months, maybe your subconscious threw up a mental block to prevent recurrence. Although this is definitely a reach I will admit, I found it weird you included it. Like maybe subconsciously you know thats what it was, even if not consciously. The human mind is a wondrous thing capable of anything. Either way though considering that you are so young and it started at such a young age, I DEFINITELY think it is mental, not physical (not ED). I mean, if it were ED, the viagra would have made you rock hard. Just my 2 cents though.
