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Am I Bi?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nychthemeron, Jul 12, 2014.

  1. Nychthemeron

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    Is there such a thing as an aesthetic orientation?

    I saw aesthetically attractive ladies today. I already know I'm aesthetically attracted to men, but I haven't really noticed any attraction to women until today. Needless to say, I was really pleased with myself, thinking that I was biromantic.

    To experiment, I thought about a romantic relationship with a woman.

    It didn't feel right.

    I then imagined a romantic relationship with a man, and it felt more right somehow.

    That's where the confusion kicks in. I find both men and women aesthetically attractive, but I think I only feel romantic attraction for men. Unless, of course, I'm confusing one thing for another.

    So, am I bi?

    TL;DR: I like to look at both men and women, but a relationship with a man feels more right to me.
     
  2. Fallingdown7

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    You're probably just a homoromantic asexual that can see some aesthetic appeal in women.
     
  3. Nychthemeron

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    Sorry, not sure if this matters, but:

    What I mean by not wanting a romantic relationship with a woman is like kissing her or something. I can only imagine myself kissing a man, however, I can visualize living and expressing affection towards both men and women.

    It's like:

    Men and women:
    - hugging
    - living together
    - kissing on cheek
    - generally really close friendship or possibly more

    while

    Men only:
    - kissing on the lips
    - cuddling

    Oddly enough, I can also imagine myself getting married to a woman, even if I have no desire to kiss her — on the lips, I mean.

    Not sure if that matters, but where I live, kissing on the lips isn't really done between friends. It's less platonic and more romantic.

    In any case, thanks for your input, Fallingdown.
     
  4. Monraffe

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    I would say most of the things you mentioned are separate but interrelated. Aesthetic attraction, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, these are all separate things (by romance I mean love not sex). I'm saying this because you find people everywhere that have various combinations of one and not the other within a given gender. I would also include bonding which is the ability to live in a relationship with a gender. I personally think orientation, types, fetishes and so on are all part of a complex matrix of sexuality that is unique to the person and is highly influenced by experience. Some people love exploring the limits of their sexuality and some regret the direction their sex drive takes them. It's really very fascinating.
     
  5. ABeautifulMind

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    These goddamn labels just keep morphing.

    Your gay in my opinion. I say that because what maater is who you want to be in a relationship with, have sex, grow old, etc.

    Not just who you think is attractive. just my 2 cents.
     
  6. Brodie

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    If you are trans male maybe it's the masculine side of you? A side effect of the change, maybe you just want to be the tough caring guy but without the physical attraction? Maybe just the role of man and wife is appealing because it makes you feel more "manly". If you just want to cuddle and such maybe your protective.


    *how many "maybe"'s can I fit in one post*

    Hope you figure it out, sorry if this wasn't helpful?
     
  7. TheStormInside

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    I have similar feelings, though in reverse. With men I could see and have had a very deep emotional relationship, cuddling, and so on. But with women I feel like I can have that and more, kissing, cuddling, and sexual feelings as well. I sometimes find men attractive, but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with them or even (to relate to your case, in asexuality) kiss them. Sometimes guys are just pretty to look at. Maybe that's the case for you and women?

    I agree with FallingDown, it sounds like you're more homoromantic. I'd say you don't need to worry about it too much, if there's a girl you're drawn to romantically, let it happen. If not, that's ok, too. There's nothing wrong with just having a deep friendship with a woman so long as you are both on the same page that it's not going to go further than that.
     
  8. Nychthemeron

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    To Monraffe:

    Yeah, you do have a point. It is pretty fascinating... and frustrating.

    To ABeautifulMind:
    Haha, I share your sentiments with the labels. However, the problem is that I can be in a relationship with and grow old with a woman, I just feel really weird when I think of kissing a girl, and it's not the good sort of weird either. It's more of the 'what am I doing?!' sort of weird.

    To Brodie:

    Nah, I appreciate your input. Don't apologize.

    Thing is, I'm leaning more towards being more feminine than masculine, and I seriously don't like the societal roles of women and men over here. Haha. Er, so maybe not.

    To TheStormInside:

    I suppose, yeah. Thanks a lot for your input, TheStormInside. Really appreciate it!

    And, to everyone to reads and wants to reply, I guess I have to say sometimes this attraction towards women fluctuates. One day it's really appealing, the next, it's not. Yesterday, it was on the more appealing side. Today, not so much. I have no idea what this means. >>
     
  9. Nightdream

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    Maybe your aesthetic attraction is fluid or you just didn't happen to find any attractive women that day? You don't need to feel that every single day, week or even months. There are many bisexual people that experience strong sexual attraction to the same sex for awhile, but end up by being attracted to the opposite sex after some time and keep on with these changes over again. This might also be happening to you.
    By what you've told us, you're probably romanticaly and aestheticaly attracted to both, but experience only sensual attraction for men. I can't tell you that for sure though.
     
  10. Nychthemeron

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    Actually, you mentioning sensual attraction really makes sense. I think that's probably the case. Thank you. :0