What does does "mourning" while coming out look like?

I've heard a lot about this as part of the coming out process, and I thought it was dumb at first (I don't know why) but now I'm wondering if I really have gone through this process myself. What does the process of "mourning" the loss of your straight/cis-gendered/otherwise normative self look like?

I ask because my therapist asked me if I am going through a mourning process, and I said no... but now thinking about it, I am definitely having trouble letting go of the idea that I might not date men ever again (or at least much less frequently), and that while I'm not genderqueer I might never be comfortable being feminine full-time again (not that I ever was... but I ain't goin back). And I think about it as letting go of this person who was insecure but still somewhat in the mainstream, and replacing her with a more confident person rejecting the norm.

So, how did the mourning process manifest for you? How did you deal with it?



(I really am curious but I'm also just procrastinating... work has been a pain today and I just want to talk about feelings... humor me! :icon_bigg )

 

Thanks. I can relate to that. Got any book recommendations in particular?

 

Thanks!! I'mma write all this down and the lot of it.