So, I have finally come to terms with who I, and feeling a bit confident. So I started to come out to a few people. Well I think one of my "friends" is going around tell other that i am gay. Some of my other friends are laughing at me and not wanted to be in the same room. One told me that he was told that i was gay. So, my question to this forum should I fully come out of the closet now that cats out of the bag, or should I wait? I myself am not fully ready to but since I am sure that most of my friends already know.:bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::help::help::help::help:
What?! Why would your friend think that's ok?!!! No, no. Just no. Unacceptable. Have you talked to your friend about it? They need to know it's not ok. I would probably not be on speaking terms with them if this happened though, so I don't know how I'd go about talking to them. As for everyone else, if the cat is out of the bag the only thing you can do is own it. You don't have to come out to more people if you don't want to, such as family and friends in other places, but people in your school probably already know. Just show them it doesn't bother you. And once the dust settles, your true friends will be there for you.
First, it's wrong of a person to out another person...this is your information, not theirs, and they have no business spreading it about. On the other hand, once you come out to someone, you've relinquished a level of control...so while they *shouldn't* do it, you're the one who put them in a position where they can. With all that in mind, be aware that there is nothing like confidence to defuse hate. If you act coy when others ask you if it's true, if you deny it or own shame, then that's how you'll be seen...someone who is ashamed of what they are. If on the other hand, you own your sexuality fully and openly "yeah, I'm gay...deal with it, and stop being such a hateful doofus" (not wanting to be in the same room with you? what is this, 3rd grade?), then you'll be seen as confident and comfortable, and you'll have taken a weapon away from them, rather than handing them one. But which you're able to pull off depends entirely on how comfortable you actually are with your sexuality. If you really do feel shame or hesitation, then that's the thing to work on...you can still try to put on the confident act, if you're capable of that...but definitely work on any underconfidence while you're at it. The fact is that you're awesome, there's nothing wrong with you, and that being out and proud can be incredibly empowering. (And you might want to rethink your social nomenclature: those who laugh at or ridicule you or out you to others are not friends...they are fools. The more out you are, the easier it will be to find real friends.) Good luck!
Sadly, when you tell more than one or two people at school, it is almost inevitable that word gets around. That sort of information is very "hot gossip" and a lot of people of that age just can't contain themselves. So yes, I think the best solution is to simply own it and hold your head high. It sucks that it isn't on your timetable, but in general, once it starts leaking out, getting the word out there and taking complete ownership is the best way to cut the whispering behind your back.
Before you decide to come out to more people, please give them a disclaimer. You must tell them that you will not be happy and possibly be friends with them if they go around telling around your secret like that. That's absolutely unacceptable in my book. :eusa_naug
