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I am one confused Pansexual...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sammykins, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. Sammykins

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    I am pansexual. Of this I am sure. But I am also extremely new to accepting that about myself and being open about it. I am the type of person who likes to be educated about things, not smartassedly so, just informed so to speak. So being new to the LGBTQ community, I understand that I have a lot to learn.

    I have come across this debate about whether or not Pansexuality and Bisexuality are, in fact any different. I know why I am pansexual. I am attracted to people and their personalities essentially. Their gender identity/sex play no part in deciding to love someone. But I also don't want to finally get the courage to sit down with my parents and explain this to them. They think that I'm "just gay," as they put it.

    I know I'm not really making a lot of sense. I guess I was just wondering if their were any other pansexual members who would like to give me some advice. Or any of you wonderfully epic people. I know nothing about being an active part of this community. It's all so overwhelming.

    Any help is welcomed!

    Thanks , guys! You're all gorgeous! :kiss:
     
  2. Budweiser

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    In realizing your sexuality, you don't have to do anything different except experience more confidence in yourself. You can live your life as usual until you find someone special to share that life with.
     
  3. wolf of fire

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    My analogy is "do you prefer *insert person's gender preference* with attached or detached earlobes" than say that is what you feel about gender.
     
  4. Mogget

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    In my opinion, pansexuality and bisexuality are two ways of describing the same type of orientation, but with different political histories. "Pansexual" acknowledges the reality that there are genders outside the gender binary, whereas "bisexual" was coined before nonbinary genders were widely known and is itself the better-known term.
     
  5. butHitlerisDead

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    Well the reason (at least to my knowledge) that some choose to identify as pan instead of bi isn't just because that pan encompasses people outside of the gender binary (like intersex and genderqueer people), but it's more of your outlook on attraction. Someone who is pan feels like they can be attracted to anyone regardless of their gender (yes, I am fully aware this does not mean attracted to everyone), while a bisexual, like myself, feels like the gender of the person plays more of a role in whether or not they are attracted to them. Are they really that different in terms of who you're attracted to? Not necessarily, it's just more of what describes whether you feel you're attracted to men and women or just... people.

    For someone who hasn't spoken with a lot of people in the LGBT community, the whole pansexual vs bisexual thing might be a difficult concept to grasp. However, don't feel like you should come out to them as bisexual simply because you don't think they will understand fully what pansexuality is. It's the label you choose to identify yourself, and it's what you should come out to your parents as. Maybe say, "I know both of you think I'm only attracted to women and am gay, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm actually pansexual. It's similar to bisexuality except gender doesn't play a role in whether or not I am attracted to them." That's all you have to say.