Help with my orientation?? Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl going into freshman year and I've had a lot going through my head for the last few years. I'm just going to go ahead and say it, because it makes no sense to me: -I've never had a crush on a girl. -I've had crushes on boys. -I'm never really turned on by boys (maybe once or twice, not so sure). -I have been turned on by girls, BUT, it's usually only a sexual fantasy (gosh I feel really weird about admitting I have those...), or a half-dressed woman I see pictures of online. If they're fully dressed, it's nothing, if they're naked, I don't feel anything either! -When I have fantasies about boys, it's more about romance and really cute stuff that makes my tummy twirl (in a good way)! I'll admit to having urges for both sexes, but I don't want ANY romance or relationships with girls. The only thing is that boys don't seem all that interesting. When my friends talk about "hot guys", I can see the boy is attractive, but it doesn't mean all that much to me. Honestly, I couldn't imagine myself having a girlfriend or wife, only a boyfriend or husband. I see girls and think they're really pretty, and have amazing figures and stuff, however, I wouldn't want to go up to them and flirt! I've been taking all the online quizzes and that jazz, and watching Youtube videos about how people found out they were gay, but I noticed I'm not going anywhere!! What am I, and what do I want? People always tell each other online that they need time, although I feel as if I've been questioning far too long...What do you think? (And if you do respond, thank you )
Only you can really label yourself. But in my opinion, you seem romantically attracted to boys and maybe sexually attracted to girls.
I was in almost the exact situation at your age. (I'm currently 20). I thought girls were attractive, but couldn't see myself dating one, and I could see myself dating a guy (and I have dated lots of men) but I was never really organically sexually attracted to the male form. It wasn't until last year when I suddenly had strong romantic attractions to a girl that I realized I was bisexual with asexual tendencies. That may happen to you, it may not, but that's my take.
It may just take you some more time and experiences to figure it out. It seems to me like you could possibly be bi and be attracted to different things from different sexes. You may not see yourself as being in a relationship with a girl as (and i'm just guessing you were) you were brought believing the opposite. Would it gross you out at the thought of kissing/dating a girl or is it just weird?
Let's see what I can do to help you... First of all, I'm not going to say what you sounds to be in my opinion. I'm just going to give you an information that you probably lack and it may be the cause of your confusion. Sexual orientation is not the same thing as romantic orientation. What is romantic orientation? That's what I'm going to explain right now along with sexual orientation. Sexual orientation: It's a label used to explain other people what sex you're attracted to. Example: You want to tell someone that you like members of the opposite sex, so you tell them that you're straight. Romantic orientation: Your sexual orientation is defined by the sex that arouses you and makes you fantazise about the people from this group, right? The romantic orientation is defined by the people from the sex you see yourself having a relationship with. Example: You see yourself marrying with someone from the same sex, but not with the opposite sex. That means that you're homoromantic then. (I suggest you to look more about it in the internet) Another thing that I can tell you is the fact that there are some people that define their sexual orientation by their romantic and sexual orientation, other people do it taking in consideration only their sexual orientation and etc. So I'm not going to tell you the right way to label yourself in this case, so you have the freedom to choose the one that best fits you and make you feel comfortable or to not even apply a label to you at all. That's all I've got to say about it, good luck.
