I've recently realized that my attraction toward girls goes beyond the typical straight-girl jealously type thing. I hope that makes sense and you know what I mean...that, "Oh, she's pretty. I wish I looked like that" thing. No, over the past year or so (actually a bit longer), I've come to terms with the fact that I am at least 90% positive that I identify as bisexual. But here's the thing. I'm in a long-term relationship that is going on six years now. He understands (to a degree) that I am discovering my sexuality. I don't think he really understands how confused I am, though, and it's putting a bit of a strain on our intimacy. I guess what I'm confused about is the fact that I don't see myself with anyone but him, but at the same time I wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship with another woman. Or maybe not even that -- maybe just what sex would be like. But what I know about myself beyond the confusion is that I am loyal to the core, and would never betray his trust. I guess I'm trying to ask if anyone here has gone through anything similar or has any advice. I want to go back to the level of intimacy we had before, and I know that all good relationships take work, but I know that in order to do that I need to tell him exactly how I'm feeling. Crucial detail -- his girlfriend before me ended up coming out as lesbian, and I think that might have been when they broke up. I know that was a difficult time for him. I guess I'm just afraid of telling him exactly what's going on in my mind because of it. I don't want to leave him, I just want to end the confusion and learn to embrace this newfound sexuality within my relationship. Any input you might have would be helpful!
That's a very complex situation... honestly, you know I'm having similar feelings, and I've been told and kinda feel like the only way to explore it is to, well, explore it. Staying loyal in a relationship means sacrificing some of your own needs for your partner, as they should do for you. So maybe the best thing to tell him is that, yes, you are bisexual (or very certain of it) but you're willing to give up exploring that part of yourself for him, because he's the one you want to be with.
I was in a similar situation... Most of the time I tried to ignore my feelings and curiosity, but this is really a hard thing to do. One day I couldn't take it any longer and told my ex-boyfriend what I feel and that I wanna try how it is to have sex with a girl... He was so understanding and he made the proposal that I should try it with a girl...and that it is ok for him as long as he knows the girl and it is just one time to make this experience. And yeah, I tried it with a girl but I couldn't enjoy because it felt a bit like cheating(actually it wasn't because he was ok with it)... My real experience was with my girlfriend. I think it makes it so much better when you love the other person and when your heart and head are fully focused on this person and you haven't other baggage with you... Hope you understand what I mean.
In my opinion I think you should tell him what your feeling but also assure him that your fully committed to him and into him and that you would never cheat on him. Also say why your telling him this-because you want to be closer to him. As for exploring if your 100% committed to this relationship and want it to work then you'll have to sacrifice your feelings of wanting to explore unless you and your partner agree for you to explore.
