Hey guys, first time posting... In any thread before. I've never spoken openly about the things I'm about to say but I'm at a point in my life where I need to start opening up. I'm (obviously) confused about my sexuality. Here's the story: When I was 13 to 16 I had dated all guys and had sexual encounters with them and enjoyed it about 70% of the time. I stopped dating until I was 18 due to confused sexuality among a busy life style. However I was making out with girls during this time. I started dating a girl but called it off as soon as things got serious, we never even kissed. I then dated a guy and when things got heated my body wasn't able to have sex with him. That put me off completely until a couple months later when I made out with a boy, but when he wanted to go further I literally left. I think about girls sexually yet I've never done things with them and I do the same with guys yet when it comes to putting the thoughts into actions with guys I just can't. I've come out as bi already but I'm not sure even into guys? Did that one terrible experience withy body put me off or am I gay? Is this even normal? I'm literally so confused. Can anyway help or give advice? Xxx much love
I had sort of a bad experience with a guy very soon before coming out to myself as liking women at all; multiple friends were quick to make that connection between a bad experience and suddenly wanting to date women. But every time I entertained that theory, it felt like a gross oversimplification of my emotional experience. It was an eye-opening experience, but it didn't "turn me gay". Besides I had straight friends with worse experiences who never turned gay, so I don't know why they applied that logic to me. A bad experience with a guy can turn you off to men; but it can't turn you on to women. If you were attracted to women, then yes maybe it would push you more towards the female end of the spectrum. But it seems to me like you have more going on than that; you're a complex person with complex feelings. Anyways yes you are totally normal. Attraction can be quite fluid for those who aren't purely gay or straight. Maybe you'll have to wait it out until the aftermath of that experience dies down before you can reevaluate your feelings towards women/men; I'd avoid rushing to a label for now.
