So I always saw myself as pretty uhhh "easy" when it comes to sexuality. Not sure if that came out how I wanted it to. I like everyone, I just want to find someone who is genuine, nice, etc, etc. The one problem I have recently had though is that I could never date another women, or maybe just a cis woman. I feel like I would be jealous of her or something like that. When I look at women in public (creepy right?) I usually just feel jealous or envious. When I look at a guy though I think "Oh, what a cutie!". It makes me feel weird though because I always thought of myself as pansexual, maybe now I may identify better as something else? Usually when I see an attractive woman I just get upset even though I do find her attractive. So I think not ever dating women would just be best for me and whoever I would have ended up potentially dating. I am just kind of confused and thought it may help to get my thoughts out here.
Do you get crushes on people? Or just find them attractive? The thing is, cis-women have personalities, and thoughts and feelings. If you can't see beyond your feeling of jealousy, then yes you probably won't ever be able to date a cis-woman in a healthy way. I don't know your experience, so I don't know to what extent it would be a problem, but seeing cis-women as just a body they were born into is as problematic as any objectification. I'm not judging you; I don't really know your experience. But in any case, cis-women can't help how they were born any more than anyone else. Then again you can't help your reactions to people; if your gut feeling is that you could never connect to a woman the way you want to in a relationship, then you might not be able to overcome it. If you're pansexual homoromantic this could be a problem you need to work through, but if you're bi/pan/heteroromantic then you can probably get by dating men only and identify as heterosexual. But just be honest with yourself.
It isn't like I hate cis women or anything, it always just reminds me that I am trans and will never really be seen as a real woman. Which makes me jealous that they are seen that way. It is usually just when I look at strangers that I get the feelings of jealousy and then start feeling bad about myself. It rarely happens around the few female friends I have which could mean it is possible to date another woman. I am really not sure, so confusing.
Ok, I can understand that. I used to get really jealous of really beautiful women, and now that I've adopted a more fluid gender expression I see that what they do has nothing to do with me and I view them as people not as these mythical beings I wish to emulate. Ok so not the same situation at all; but anyways all women have different bodies, nobody is 100% happy with herself, and it's gonna happen that we get jealous of each other. Letting go of that starts with accepting yourself for all your unique characteristics. Besides, I bet there's plenty of women jealous of you. You see yourself in one way, but someone is going to wish she had your hair, or your eyes, or your height, or your personality, or whatever other characteristics make you you. Try to think about that.
One of the reasons why I didn't know I liked girls for a long time was because of my jealousy for them. I was so blinded by it that I couldn't see any attraction. Maybe that's what it's like for you?
It is almost the opposite. I see the attractiveness and I wish I could be that pretty you know? It makes me realize that I will never look that good no matter what I do just because that is how she was born and I was born how I was. I know I cannot change it, the only thing I can change is my attitude but I really don't know how.
Do you mean that you just acknowledge that they're attractive or do you feel attracted to them? Because I could also see the attractiveness and that's what made me jealous. Btw, I think you're very pretty (assuming that's you in your profile picture) and I really hope that you begin to love yourself. I wish I could give you some great advice on how to do that but since it's something I'm struggling with myself, I don't really know what to say. :icon_sad::icon_sad:
KelsC, you are a very attractive young lady. as for the "beautiful" woman you feel like you could never be, i would bet that she feels the same about someone, either they are younger, has a different colour eyes, or hair. or her figure is different or she's taller/shorter. no one is perfect. i look at your pictures and know i can never be as pretty as you when i dress up. but i realize my situation is different from yours and I am on a different place on the trans* spectrum than you are. my point is we all have something and someone that we are envious of or wish we could be like. Be You, you are beautiful inside and out.(*hug*)
