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Female Terminology: Lesbian or Gay

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Pax, Jul 22, 2014.

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Girls - do you refer to yourself as 'lesbian' or 'gay?'

  1. Lesbian

    8 vote(s)
    18.6%
  2. Gay

    20 vote(s)
    46.5%
  3. Both

    12 vote(s)
    27.9%
  4. Neither/other

    3 vote(s)
    7.0%
  1. Pax

    Pax
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    Spending time at this forum has drawn my attention to the fact that whereas a lot of girls/women here seem to have their sexuality set as 'lesbian', mine is 'gay'.

    I'm not really sure why I refer to myself as gay...the word 'lesbian' feels really uncomfortable for me to say when I use it in conversation and it doesn't feel as accurate a label for me as 'gay', although I have no idea why. It's not a deliberate personal principle or anything, just a quirk of mine that I've noticed over the last couple of days.

    Do you prefer one over the other or do you use them interchangeably? Any particular reason for your choice or is it just force of habit?
     
  2. stocking

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    I prefer lesbian because it says what I like and my preference , it's woman that only attracted to women and not men . I think if you want to use gay that's fine it says the same thing .
    But I wonder why do you have an issue with the word lesbian ?:confused:
    I do use the word gay but rarely
     
    #2 stocking, Jul 22, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2014
  3. thekillingmoon

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    I prefer "gay" as well. I never liked the word lesbian.
     
  4. stocking

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    Why doesn't anyone like the word lesbian anymore :confused:
     
  5. sonia98

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    I usually say "gay" because my gay older brother HATES lesbians for some reason, and I have an irrational fear of him being able to sense when his lil' sister calls herself a lesbian. It's just my weird preference, and I tend to just say "don't put me in a goddamn box" when people ask about my sexuality.
     
  6. biAnnika

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    I'm bisexual, so I'm not adding my voice to the vote...but I've always *loved* the word "lesbian"! It's not fair that they don't have a cool word like it for guys, lol (along with a cool story of a bunch of hot guys living on a Greek island together).

    I don't get what people have against the word, frankly. I mean "gay" is fine, too, and I do use that to describe women at times...I certainly don't care for the distinction "gays and lesbians"...much prefer "gay men and women" or "gay men and lesbians".

    In fact I don't much care for using "gay" as a noun...so "lesbian" gives me a nice noun to use, rather than having to add a gender modifier ("gay women").
     
  7. Tetra

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    It may have something to do with the fact that lesbian is a noun, and gay is an adjective. I also don't call myself a "lesbian", but rather "gay".

    Saying you're a "lesbian" makes it sound like that defines who you are. Saying you're "gay" just says that it's something about you. I, personally, don't want to be defined by my sexual orientation, so perhaps that's why the word "gay" sits better with me.
     
  8. thekillingmoon

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    Could be because I heard it too often in negative context and the fact that it's a word commonly used in porn. So yeah I have bad associations with it.
     
  9. stocking

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    hmm that makes sense .

    ---------- Post added 22nd Jul 2014 at 11:47 AM ----------

    I feel the same way biAnnika

    ---------- Post added 22nd Jul 2014 at 11:48 AM ----------

    Actually you can say your lesbian or I'm lesbian you don't always have to add the a
    I learned that from someone else on here .
     
  10. fluffybunnies

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    Same here - 'straight', 'gay' adjectives, 'lesbian' noun. She's straight, she's gay, she's a lesbian. Feels like we're the poor relation here!
     
  11. stocking

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    you can just say she's lesbian you do not always have to add the a
     
  12. Arianrhod

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    While i understand what you're getting at, Pax and i really wish there wasnt a need for a different word but the seperation between the words gay and lesbian has been helpful for the trans comunnity. minorly but still*shrugs*
     
  13. stocking

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    :confused:
     
  14. Pax

    Pax
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    Interesting thoughts about noun vs adjective, hadn't really noticed that aspect of it before...


    Good point :slight_smile:
     
  15. Sabot Kitty

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    Yeah, the word lesbian helps to cut away any ambiguity there. Also, Sappho of Lesbos is a great poet, so that's a positive etymology at least. =)
     
  16. danball7

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    I've always found it odd that lesbian is often preceded by an 'a'. Gay women have to say "I'm a lesbian", but men can say "I'm gay". I'm aware both can be said either way, but it just sounds weird to say "she's lesbian", or "he's a gay".
     
  17. TurtleCat

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    Well, I'm bi, but I always liked the term "lesbian." Something about the sound and whole etymology of it, and just that homosexual women have their very own term.
     
  18. Tetra

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    True, but the majority of the time it's "she's a lesbian".
     
  19. stocking

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    true but it's not like you can't change it .
     
  20. biAnnika

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    I don't get how nouns define you any more than adjectives do.

    Are you suggesting somehow that "I'm an American" defines who I am, but "I'm American" just says something about me?

    They carry the same meaning, but simply are different parts of speech (used for different grammatical purposes).