Not even if, by some hypothetical means, I was offered a ton of money to take some magical 'pill' or something. I'm beginning to notice, that I feel more free nowadays. I don't have to keep worrying whether I fit into the stereotypical 'male' image that my society seems to value so highly. I'm almost beyond even caring at all anymore. I am freed from having to appear 'manly' or whatever it is that I was supposed to do. I can just be myself (whatever that is, lol). I guess I'm exploring right now, and in a stage in which I don't really know where I fit in, in the lgbt spectrum, but that doesn't bother me, because the way I see it, this is an adventure - an adventure through identity itself. I'm beginning to relax more, to walk around not feeling like I have to please or be anyone I'm not. I don't have to project anything other than my own authentic feelings in the moment - just 'me' is enough. If I'm a gentle sort of bloke, not the 'alpha male' type competing with all the other guys, well then - what a relief! Thank goodness I'm finally realizing that I can be happy just being myself, I don't have to fit into any mold that society might try to impose on me. I can feel however I like, and I can love whomever I like. I wouldn't go back to being straight, not even if offered a fortune - because to be authentically true to oneself, and to begin feeling one is comfortable with that, and to be able to love and accept oneself as one is - an ongoing journey for me, but still - this is worth more than any possible material gain. Damien.
It is wonderful finding your place in your own life. I've been at that place so long that I've forgotten what it was like to be in the closet. I only hope that people that are struggling can read messages like yours and mine and know that at some point they can have that sense of self worth and calmness that comes from living out who you are inside..
Thanks everyone for your replies I hope the title doesn't irritate some members...I understand that there's a general consensus that we don't go from being straight to lgbt, but that rather, we 'always were' but were merely unaware of it. But in my case, this journey I'm on feels I was just carrying on as usual, then one day I saw this Ocean and dived into it...and then discovered so many wonderful things I never knew existed. Anyway whether I 'always was' or whether I'm 'fluid', either way, I'm glad to be 'free to just be myself' in the moment! Damien
I agree. I've been asked this question before, and each time I answer "no". Being bi has taught me a lot about myself and other people. I'm so much smarter now, and I don't regret that one bit. Personally, being bi is something I take a lot of pride in. I can make gay jokes, shock people by liking both genders, and just be myself. It took a little bit of time, but now I'm comfortable with who I am. My gender's another story, but I'll figure that out in time! :lol:
Hell no. I've done so much growing as a person as a result of accepting myself, coming out, and being there to support other people going through the same thing. There's no way in hell I'd go back on that. Plus, I'd have a very, very sad boyfriend.
I must say, that realizing I liked guys was one thing, but beginning to sense that there is an aspect of me that feels 'feminine' as well as my more usual male aspect, was a surprise that I was not expecting... so thank you for sharing, because I can relate to the uncertainty, all part of the journey I guess! Damien.
