When I was thinking about my current crush (and that's all it will be since she is very much married), a thought that came to mind is that it's kind of like I want to be in a threesome with her....but don't actually want to have sex with her myself. (?!) I want to see her naked and would probably enjoy touching her, but if I actually think about us having sex, the fantasy breaks down pretty damn quickly. If I think about her having sex with a man, however, I am easily aroused - and I don't know what the hell that means. :bang: If you're just as confused as I am about the idea, have you ever had something similar happen to you? As a side note --- I have thought about sex with women before, but typically not with the same intensity as I do about hetero sex. When I do, the fantasies usually play themselves out more as some kind of story rather than a porno, if that makes any sense.
Ha, yeah, I probably should have phrased the question differently. Maybe it's the fact that I know the whole idea of us hooking up is completely unrealistic. Idk. It just seem to have a kind of mental block to that ultimate conclusion. It has always been much more comfortable for me to fantasize with fictional characters or what I like to call "by proxy" by imagining an attractive person I know with someone else. I'm not sure if it's insecurity or if I have a need to inject some realism into the fantasy. [I have a near-masochistic tendency to pick people well out of my reach] It's just weird and more than a bit frustrating, lol. How the hell can I be bisexual/lesbian if the only way I can fantasize about women 90% of the time is in the context of hetero sex?
Yeah ok it's not exactly clear cut for you. But do you think a heterosexual woman would say this??? Maybe if you try experimenting?
True, true, lol. That statement would have anyone scratching their head if coming from a "straight" woman. :eusa_doh: I definitely need to experiment - not with her, obviously - but someone. I just have to hope that the peculiarities will work themselves out with more experience. I have only recently given thoughts of same-sex attraction free-reign in my mind. Maybe I've been trying to fit my homosexual desires into my regular heterosexual fantasies with obvious difficulty.
I believe that we all have mental blocks around issues that make it difficult for us to access certain kinds of attraction directly. But it sounds like in this case, your brain is looking to hotwire a sexual response in a different way...since the direct channel is blocked. It sounds like sexual attraction to women is definitely there...it's just...hiding? It's trying to occur to you in a way you can find socially (or personally) acceptable...that you can get your head around. If you're open to the idea, then do experiment. Let it be natural...don't make a thing out of it (NOT: "ok, this is my experiment...I'm going to try sex with this chick tonight, and if it doesn't work, then I know I'm straight, and if it does, then I'm not...ok, let's go!"). Instead, let yourself be in the moment, and do what sounds/feels good. If a kiss feels like it would be a good idea, go there...if touching seems nice, touch...if you find your lips or hands wandering elsewhere...mmmm, wander. But give yourself permission to do what feels good. Sometimes (just sometimes, mind you) we can't wrap our heads around an activity until we're actually starting to do it.
