1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I'm not sure what I am anymore.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Thismodernlove, Jul 26, 2014.

  1. Thismodernlove

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Hi everyone, I'm a 24 year old male who's confused about my sexuality.
    For a quick summary of my life, I thought I was just a heterosexual male. I had only dated and slept with women, and didn't have any interest in guys at all.

    About 3 months ago, my girlfriend left on a trip. As she left, I started having thoughts about men. Just the thoughts alone caught me off guard because I've never had a romantic or sexual attraction to other men. Yet I would feel attracted to feminine men, but not any other type. I'm still attracted to women, and enjoyed the sex I had with my girlfriend when she came back. I don't see myself romantically with a man, and my thoughts tend to be sexual in nature although lately I've been unattracted to both genders.

    I do deal with depression and a bi-polar disorder so I guess you can only imagine how much distress this confusion is causing me. I told my girlfriend what I was feeling and she said she would accept me no matter what. But I feel hopeless.

    I just want to feel okay, gay, bi or straight. If it makes sense?

    Thanks for reading if you do.
     
  2. truffles45

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2014
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lansing
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't think you have anything to worry about. Sounds more like a fantasy than anything.
     
  3. Thismodernlove

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    It's just uncomfortable for me. I know I'm not the only one to feel that way but it's hard to accept how everything was before is in question because of a random thought I have no clue where it came from.

    I talked to my girlfriend today and vented a bit more. It's just hard not having a proper outlet. So that's why I found this website and feel comfortable about it here.

    I guess what I'm most afraid of is losing her, but if I'm attracted to her still and love her, should I be worrying so much about it?

    Just the thoughts come and go and it's hard to readjust and be out in public and act like everything is okay, when my anxiety is absurdly high.

    Thanks for the response though Truffles.
     
  4. ellyy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2014
    Messages:
    239
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    -
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    When I first started realizing my same-sex attraction I was only attracted to masculine girls and I think that was my mind's way of processing the same-sex attraction, since I felt like masculine girls were, in terms of appearance, closer to guys and it didn't make me feel as bad to be attracted to them because of that. I then started becoming more vulnerable with myself and allowing myself to feel and I realized that I'm attracted to feminine girls as well.
    If you are attracted to the same sex you probably haven't adjusted to it and therefore it might be difficult for you to see yourself in a romantic relationship with a man.
    But if you're genuinely sexually attracted to women and men you might be bi.
    You also said that you have been feeling unattracted to both genders lately and that happened to me too. It made me think I was asexual but the reason behind it was repressed feelings.
    If you allow yourself to be vulnerable and honest with yourself I think you will eventually come to find the answer. And I'm sorry it's causing you a lot of anxiety and I hope you feel better soon! (*hug*)