Now, this may sound strange, but I think I'm both aware that I'm not straight and on the other hand still in denial. Although I know that I'm not straight, a part of me is still adamant that I am. I'll try to explain as best as I can; I am slowly accepting the fact that I'm not solely attracted to the opposite sex, and that my attractions don't fall into the straight category. However a deep part of me is still in denial of that fact and coming up with excuses for why I think I'm not straight. It feels really conflicting, in that, both parts are fighting it out, but I also feel kind of numb, like I don't fit into the straight or LGBT category. I feel like I've fallen in the middle and it's quite lonely here.:icon_sad: This sounds absolutely crazy doesn't it.:help:
Hi nomdeplume, this doesn't sound crazy at all. (*hug*) Mind is the funny thing, was there, done that. You know you're not straight but haven't accepted that yet. Accepting oneself doesn't happen overnight, it's a process so you need to give it time. When I was going through that stage I even believed that I just fake the attraction towards women for whatever reason even though it was apparent how much I want to be with them. I kept "fighting" all the excuses till one day I realized there are no excuses left and accepted I'm gay.
Thank you for not thinking I'm crazy. (*hug*) I know that excuse, but I have thankfully managed to shake it. The current excuse is that 'I'm just doing it to be different and get attention'. The attention part doesn't even make sense since I'm not even out to anyone yet, and just posting on this site is nerve wracking for me.
I'm in the same situation.. I realise I'm not really straight but I can't accept it and I hope it's going to go back to before (my same sex attraction is very new)
Yeah I think it exists, I kept on trying to tell myself I was just bi which is basically semi denial.
I'm like that, too. I feel I'm not straight but I'm like, maybe I'm straight and just making things up. Like it's just a phase or yeah, there is something there but I can overcome it. I think I'm bisexual, that keeps my door open. But I'd rather not be anything at all. It's too complicated. It's a conflict in our minds, for real. Acceptance is key. Even if it's a hard thing to do.
