1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Unsure of my sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by joeltlou, Jul 27, 2014.

  1. joeltlou

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2014
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hello ._.

    Pretty much to start off, I would like to say I have always considered myself bisexual. I always had a preference to men; when i would watch porn, starting at the age of 11, i would watch the typical man on woman kind. I would like this, however, I slowly started to realize i was masturbating over the guys more. I started watching gay porn at 12, I enjoyed this as well, but I would watch man on woman too. Eventually at 14 I switched straight over to gay porn. I've masturbated over just guys, and I would never think about women.

    October of 2013 I started to really like this girl, she was cute and I just wanted to hold her. I never really felt like that towards any girls, properly. December, asked her out, she said yes. We've been together for nearly 8 months. She's pansexual so she likes guy and women too. She's had sex before, and I have not. Over these 8 months when in bed with her she turns me on, I get hard as soon as i am led next to her (sexual tension maybe aha?) and we start doing stuff. I like going down on her and I like pleasuring her, and im hard through most of it. But when she starts asking me to get inside her (sex) my erection just dies.

    On a real note, I know I have a preference for men, but the fact i've only been able to penetrate my girlfriend for like a minute before my erection died just makes me question myself. I got scared once, she asked for sex when we were engaging in foreplay, and my heart started beating; I knew i was scared. Most times however, i'm all for it! I feel totally fine! I just want to make love to my girlfriend. But my erection dies!...

    I really don't mind being fully gay, that's all cool with me, however, I have a girlfriend who i'm very attatched to and care for, and telling her we cannot be together because i'm gay would seem impossible.

    An explanation i've came up with is everytime she's asking for sex it's been a few hours of foreplay and me being hard. This leads me to believe that my erection just simply cannot maintain it's fullness for that long. And everytime she asks for sex, i'm just not able too, and it's like 3/4am and we're both tired, also making erections harder. She's normally been the one to take control in the bed, but recently i've been trying to take more control and get to the point more quickly to be able to actually have sex.

    When I got inside her once, we had been up all night, it was about 10am and she said please try get inside me before I have to go, so I did, but my erection died and I was like urg... Typical. But once again I was just thinking, was I too tired? Did a night of long erections just make it hard to maintain while inside? or was i just having performance anxiety, because i dont feel anxious about pleasuring her, because we've done foreplay so much i know how she ticks!

    I just want to know if im trying to put off the fact im actually gay, or i just need to go about sex more viably with my girlfriend. Any input would be awesome, i'm feeling pretty confused at the moment. I'm 17. :bang:

    Thanks
     
  2. joeltlou

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2014
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Might I add that lesbian porn does not turn me on at all, but then if i watch straight porn i just feel like im getting turned on because of the man in the video, not the woman.