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What to do next with this guy?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by zathura103, Jul 30, 2014.

  1. zathura103

    Regular Member

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    Hi all! Nice to find a forum about LGBT
    I'm gay and from south east asia
    (sorry for the lengthy post and any grammatical/structure error)

    There is one guy that i've been checking on since early semester. He's very manly and str8-looking, taller, bigger, and a year older than me. I'm on the other hand is small-built and some of my friends jokingly say that i'm a pretty boy. Back in my childhood, i used to be girly, i mean the way i speak and walk (but i'm not overly-sissy or flambouyant). But now in college i guess i've been more boyish and str8-act thou i still can't get out of the fact that i'm mostly attracted to boys/men bigger and more manly than me.

    I sometimes saw him in hallway/canteen and i was just very nervous (i dunno why but everytime i feel nervous i feel that i emote an unfriendly facial expression, but i dunno how is my real expression when i'm nervous). Sometimes i noticed that when i see him, he frowned as if he realized that i was checking on him and he didnt like it. There is also this one situation when we saw each other, it's like we both shocked that we see each other in the eyes.

    Finally in the last short term semester, in a class, i can sit next to him because my friend know him. We didnt really have formal introduction, our first talk is like: do you understand today's material? but next meeting he knows and calls me with my name. My first impression about him before we talk is that he's cold and quiet but actually he's quite friendly. When we talk together he look at me so deeply (so do i). So every class we sit next to each other talking about general things, but one time he mentioned that he's single.

    After class, he also asked my social media chat contact (but it's because he wanted to contact for study group). When he asked for my contact, his other friend is like teasing and smiling to him as if i'm a girl that he likes, then he said 'shut up' but his friend keep teasing him. In the evening that day, i changed my profile picture in the chat, it's pic of me and my two friends (1 girl and 1 boy), very surprisingly he chatted me at 1 am! and asked me jokingly to introduce him to the girl in the pic. I replied to him that the girl already has a boyfriend.

    I read many articles online about signs that people are attracted to somebody, and some of the signs happened, for example he pointed his foot toward me, he leaned to me when we talk. I also do the same on purpose, i just want to let him know that i'm attracted to him, but i don't do very obviously because i think he's str8. I'm basically very shy and awkward in social situations (and even worse, because he is my crush), so i try my best to be friendly and approachable to him, i just don't want him to think that i'm disinterested to connect with him.

    Despite some positive signs, there are also things that make me doubt about him. Basically he is just sooo straight and has interests like most str8 boys. When we wait for mid exam outside class, we study together, he and his friends commenting about hot chicks that passing by. He also never ask me something intimate/detail about my life (while i did, i asked him about his family, interests etc). Maybe he just try to be friendly with me. He asked to study together with me quite a lot so i feel maybe he just want me to teach him materials that he didnt understand.

    Now that the short term has ended i really miss him and have a huge crush on him. I think about him everyday. Next semester there is possibility that i have some classes together with him. Sometimes i feel that he cares and also attracted to me, but sometimes i feel maybe it's because he just want to be friend with me. So what do you think? What should i do next?

    Thanks! Have a nice day
     
  2. Nychthemeron

    Full Member

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    Gotta say that some really straight-looking guys are actually really gay. :lol:

    In my opinion, I think you should get to know him a little better. Try to bring up gay people in your conversations and see if he's OK with gay people, then you can think about where to go from there.

    If he's sharp, he might pick up on the fact that you're asking because you're gay yourself, but if you guys are talking about, say, guns, you can mention that a gay man was shot when he was working or something because of his sexuality. Or, if you're talking about girlfriends, mention marriage, then mention gay marriage. Stuff like that.

    Best of luck.