Hey guys, I was just starting to work through whether I wanted to come out about being gay when something happened and I aborted my plan because I'm suddenly not sure if I am gay after all. I feel like I could deal with whatever my orientation is if I could just figure it out! I'm kind of young still, and have kissed a boy once, and that's the extent of my experience. I feel an attraction to girls and the thought of being with a guy is gross to me, so I thought I was gay. But yesterday I met this guy who I actually found attractive in a way I've never found guys before. I became convinced that I'm gay in the last few months, but looking back a lot of the signs were clearly there. Up until that point I was kind of grossed out by the thought of being with a guy but thought of it as another piece of my more independent personality that I was determined to go on with my life and succeed without ever going on another date again. Everything fits but this weird attraction to this guy. I read somewhere that teenagers go through a bisexual phase; could this be that? Can anyone help me sort through this? I fall apart when I have to keep secrets, including the fact that I've been questioning my sexual orientation, but on the other hand, I don't want to come out as gay and then be like, "oh, actually nevermind." Help?
It's fine to find some people of the opposite sex attractive when you're gay. Some people are just unusually beautiful and charismatic. The question is would you want to "be" with this guy, or could you handle having him as a boyfriend for 1 or 2 years (maybe more) and ignore all opportunities for being with girls?
For a solid 3 weeks, I was in a state of panic and emotional turmoil because I had sort of an epiphany that lead me to belive that I was bisexual. I chewed on that for a while but ended up thinking I was gay, then maybe I was straight. It's been a losing battle trying to find the answer. In time, I have settled on being ok with listing myself as questioning for a while. (It helps that I'm in the middle of living one of my greatest dreams, so my mind has been off of my sexuality.) I will probably begin to think about it again once I return home and this remarkable experience I am having right now has passed. Normally, I wouldn't say to conceal your feelings, but you should try to calm down and clear your head. Stop thinking about it so much. Relax. The answer will come when the time is right. With a clear head, you will have a better understanding of who and what you are attracted to. Give it time, my friend. You will hear that from anyone who has ever come out. It is a delicate process that can't be rushed. Don't overthink yourself into a place where you make a decision in haste. There is nothing worse than having to go back into the closet. Talk it out with some friends you trust, and I mean who you really, really trust. Someone who you kmow you can trust with a secret because they have shared personal details with you. It would be disasterous to be forced out of thr closet due to rumors. Take your time. Relax. Get your mind off of it for a while. Get in that Sound of Music, "These are a Few of my Favorite Things" attitude. Indulge in some guilty pleasures or activities that make you happy so you can be freed from your confused thoguts for a while. Hang in there. The answer will come in good time.
I can actually see myself not being in any relationship for a while. I'm so shy that the other person would have to lead me through everything. I think I could romantically attracted to someone of either gender, but not extremely attracted to either in a physical sense, though I do think I''m more physically attracted to girls.
