I posted in the gender identity/expression thread about this; basically things seem to make sense for me now, after a friend called me handsome, which felt kinda cool. It's funny that that's all it took for things to click. Basically I'm bi/pansexual, but when it comes to romantic relationships, I can't seem to picture myself with a guy. I am uncomfortable playing the role of the female/girlfriend. So I think it is possible for me in general to be attracted to guys, but I guess not as a straight girl. They try to tell me I'm beautiful, and I just feel like it doesn't apply to me (I might feel like I look good, hot even; but not beautiful. I don't know about handsome either; both "beautiful" and "handsome" are too gendered for me.) Anyways I'm just not happy with myself in a straight relationship, whereas I love being in queer relationships. I like not being treated like a girl. Alright, cool. I feel way more settled now, and all my attractions seem to make sense, and I don't have to deny any of them! Labels... who cares. I guess I'm just... rainbow-y. ride:
I'm glad you are figuring things out! You don't have to play a stereotypical female role in a relationship with a guy if you don't want to, by the way.
Thanks! I know I don't have to; but it seems to happen that way. It's just a fact that straight guys want to date women, predominantly feminine ones. Sometimes I'll be interested in a guy until I think about dating him and then I get really turned off. Eh maybe it's about finding the right guy, but it seems much easier and more enjoyable for me to date women.
Forget labels. Your sexuality is yours, and if you don't want to label it or can't find a label that fits you right, you don't have to. Happy for you, it's great to hear you're figuring things out.
