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Childhood signs that you were LGBT

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by blueberrykisses, Aug 7, 2014.

  1. blueberrykisses

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    When you finally realized that you're gay/bi/trans, didn't you have that 'OMG it was always so obvious' moment?

    Because when I realized I was gay, my mind immediately went back to all these childhood memories like..

    I married one of my barbie dolls when I was little, like I legit secretly married her and put her in bed next to me at night and kissed her and thought of her as my wife. I promised myself I would be married to her at least until I turned 18 and then I would find a real wife. It lasted about a week though. :lol: I told one of my friends about the Barbie and I being married and I told her to get married to one of her Barbies and she was just kinda confused and disinterested. I clearly remember wanting to tell my mom about my 'marriage' but somehow I was aware it wouldn't be acceptable so I didn't.

    Later, when I was like 8, I had a dream that I kissed one of my friends in art class and I became totally infatuated with her and even told her that I would fancy her if I was a boy!

    Then around the same time I became totally infatuated with another one of my friends and I used to walk behind her just so I could stare at her from behind without her noticing (and she was always wearing this top that was very revealing at the back), she once told me she washes her hair every day because she likes the feeling of hot water pouring down her back and after that, I would always fantasize about washing her hair and watching the water pour down her back.. lol. This one time I got her to play this game with me where I pretended to be a boy named Jamie and she was my girlfriend. So I took her out on a date to get pizza and then complimented her on how beautiful she was and she pretended to be flattered, because I was playing a boy! I feel like a conman recalling this though! :eek:

    I was always completely infatuated with one girl or another, I was seriously in love with Britney Spears when I was like 10-12 and my mom always called her my 'role model' but that always felt wrong to me because I knew I didn't want to be her but I didn't know I fancied her. There was that picture of her getting out of the car without panties in 2006 and I would stare at that picture all the time. :eek: I recently re-read letters my friend and I would write each other in class when were in 11 and I said things like 'I wish I could hold her in my arms just one time' 'She is my everything' etc and I glued a picture of Madonna and Britney kissing into the notebook we wrote in and I wrote 'I wish I could be between them' :eek: I had no idea I was a lesbian! :eek:

    I also had my first French kiss with my female friend when I was 11 and I felt so good about it afterwards and I didn't understand why. I didn't fancy her and we only did it out of curiosity though.

    I also tried scissoring with two of my friends before I ever even knew that existed, or before I even knew it was possible for two girls to have sex, I was imitating straight sex I guess.

    When I realized I was gay (when I was 12) this all hit me like a ton of bricks.

    Were you guys obvious cases as well? :icon_bigg
     
  2. Candace

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    1. I constantly would look at gay porn on my mom's computer. I got in BIG trouble for that :bang:
    2. I would spend a *lot* of time in the locker rooms whenever we went to place like a hot springs resort, water park, etc.
    3. I always seemed to really like commercials on TV that featured hot shirtless guys and stuff.
    4. It's not that I didn't hate girls, per se, but I always saw them as friends and never had any spark with them.
     
  3. transnerd

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    I'm still relatively recent in sorting out of my trans-ness (is that a word?), but there are definitely some things that keep coming back to mind about my childhood... Like pretending to be a girl in the bathroom ... Um, hiding my junk between my legs. :icon_redf Preferring female characters in fiction (as well as creating many of them in my writing). Relating more to the female characters in my favorite TV shows and movies than the men. Not knowing how to relate to your "typical guy" for most of my childhood and a lot of my adulthood. In fact being more scared of men and the way they might treat me than looking at them as potential friends or role models.

    I'm not really all that feminine (just awkward), but some of my closest friends were girls (including all my family growing up), and I even remember once a close (girl) friend in college referred to me jokingly as a "sister". It makes so much more sense now why so many girls I liked in college friend-zoned me super fast--I wasn't relating to them the way they expected guys to relate to them. And they weren't lesbians. Plus the one girl I dated in high school turned out to be bi and/or lesbian (from what I've gathered from other friends). So... yeah, slowly the pieces seem to come together.

    All in all, I just thought I was a person and couldn't figure out why some people thought I was weird.
     
  4. lovinladies

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    I had the same moment.

    *I always liked hugging girls.
    *I was intrested in female parts
    *I alwasy said I woukldn't get married to a guy before I knew it was an option to marry girls
    *I told my mom I was gay 9she thought i was joking)
     
  5. transnerd

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    Oh yeah, and dreams. Had some dreams about being female, and being with another woman. At the time, I shrugged it off, cause it was sort of pervy... But it was pretty vivid.
     
  6. Acm

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    I thought that when I grew up I would somehow grow male parts? Or I thought I had been lied to and I actually was male. I dreaded female puberty my whole childhood.

    I hated dresses and skirts and I liked doing typical boy activities as a kid.

    I would sometimes be a male character in make believe games.

    I would idolize male characters on TV and I wanted to be just like them.

    Pregnancy has made me uncomfortable my entire life because everyone always told me I would have kids one day and I would deny it, and I started being so freaked out by it that I would constantly feel my stomach to make sure, I hated the thought of having all the female reproductive organs. And I didn't even want to pretend to be a mom in games.
     
  7. ellyy

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    During my childhood I didn't really focus on my sexuality so it's hard to remember and know if there were many signs, but here are a few signs that for me pointed towards me being gay:

    - My first kiss was with a girl when I was about 8 years old. It was completely my idea that we would kiss because I really really wanted to kiss her.

    - I used to have a guy friend who once asked if he could kiss me but I was too shy to kiss him on the lips so I said he could kiss my cheek, which he did, many times. I remember that I felt absolutely nothing and I was just sitting there thinking: "when will this end??.."

    - I've never had a crush on a guy, but when I was younger many of the girls in my class at the time seemed to have crushes so I just picked out a cute and fairly attainable (I thought) guy to have a "crush" on. I confessed to him, but apparently he already had a girlfriend. Despite being turned down I really didn't care and it was quite a surprise for me to realize that I was so unaffected by it.
     
  8. Lyr110

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    I'm not quite sure. There's no CLEAR signs I can think of. I was always more friendly with girls as a child, and as I grew up I couldn't ever imagine myself being with a girl, because they are friends to me. There was a poster of Justin Timberlake with his top off in my house when I was younger, and I idolised him haha.

    It was kind of clear in my mind from the age of 11, but before that I suppose I was quite sheltered, I always assumed I would grow up and marry and have kids and be successful, but that's what every child wants in their naivety I suppose.
     
  9. Damien

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    The fact that I can be drawn to a particular person, but that their gender - or lack of any clear gender - is not the prime determining factor, ought to have been clear to me when:

    There was this beautiful androgynous-looking boy back in primary school that I liked, along with the odd girl or two I was attracted to

    There was a very effeminate looking boy in early high school that I had a damn strong crush on, and hardly even dared look in his direction as he appeared so beautiful to me (also liked some girls as well though, so still thought I was straight). In my later years of high school, there was this obviously gay guy - it wasn't a secret at my school - who kept flirting with me, he could tell I liked him back, but I kept distancing myself from him. I secretly fantasized about him like crazy for a year or two, though.

    During my adult life, when I would meet effeminate guys - I even met a few gay ones in my time - I liked them, felt drawn to them, but still, identified as straight, because after all, I still felt attracted to some women too, right? So I just dismissed those 'instances of gay attraction' as...well I don't know, I just assumed they were 'not really real'. Until four months ago when I finally allowed myself to just let attraction go where it will.

    Sadly, I might have some kind of 'record' for 'most number of years in denial' I suspect. :frowning2:
     
    #9 Damien, Aug 7, 2014
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  10. Lyr110

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    Hahaha, I did this :bang: My mum and dad had some serious talks with me when I was younger and I told them some white lies :badgrin:
     
  11. Mroom

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    I always notice the cute girls in class and had absolutely no interest in the guys.
     
  12. jahow95

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    For me there were absolutely no signs until i was 17. When I was young I was the typical rough and tumble sporty type and was always infatuated with one girl or another, I started looking at boobs on the computer when I was around 10 and was obsessed with Katie Price (cause hers were mahoosive), had an even bigger crush on one of the girls out of S Club 7 (the brunette one think it's jennifer something). Never had any feelings towards guys until I was 17 and now I can't tell if I'm bi or gay cause my straight feelings are inconsistent... might be something to do with too much porn though.
    So most likely is that I'm bisexual, but there was absolutely nothing to suggest that i was LGBT until actual attractions aged 17
     
    #12 jahow95, Aug 7, 2014
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  13. Princess Danica

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    1. I hated getting my hands dirty, like with anything. Still do.
    2. I played with my sister's barbie dolls, both with her and by myself sometimes.
    3. I hated how the color pink was only for girls.
    4. I've wanted long hair since I was 12.
    5. I was always jealous of women for having much more variety in fashion and I hated how men always had to look so plain and boring.
    6. And I've wanted to wear eyeliner since I was 16, because I thought my face always looked so bland and unattractive. Not sure if you can count 16 as childhood though.

    I think there are a few other things but I can't remember them right now. None of my other sings occurred until just a couple years ago.
     
    #13 Princess Danica, Aug 7, 2014
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  14. mangotree

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    All the way through primary school and high school I had a crush on a boy.
    For some reason we always ended up in the same cricket team together, and later on were always in all the same classes together in high school. He was always super nice to me.

    And always had a high appreciation for certain guys in movies and cartoons as well.

    Before and during primary school, my best friend (a guy) and I would always hold hands everywhere and often kiss each other on the lips. Not sure if this is common...

    Also, I had a fascination with rainbows and rainbow coloured things. My favourite kites were the rainbow ones.
    My bedroom was the most colourful place you could ever see.
    I had no idea about the symbolism at the time, so it's probably not relevant. Interesting to think about though.

    Peace! (*hug*)
     
  15. EleanorHunter

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    I've mentioned this before, but I was super shy when it came to romance as a kid. There were a couple boys I chased after, but the thought of them kissing me was terrifying. Strangely enough, when my girl friends would kiss me on the cheek or something, I would get the same embarrassment. I can remember I was falling asleep at my best friend's house, and she kissed me on the cheek when I wasn't looking. Immediately I sprang up and hid in the corner, and she just looked at me like I was insane (we'd known each other since we were two years old, after all).

    There was also the fact I thought of other girls as untouchable idols. I could hardly talk to really pretty girls in my class, because I was too shy. I didn't want them to judge me, and always found myself fitting in a lot more with the boys. Heck, this lasted for the longest time. I went to summer camp and totally had a crush on a girl there (she was older than me by a year or so, and was probably my first real girl crush). I thought she was an angel, even though I hardly talked to her. She ended up leaving early, and that was the saddest day of camp because I didn't get to say goodbye. I was so bummed.

    Other than that, I don't think there were any other obvious signs. I was kind of a surprise for people.
     
  16. doglover44

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    I remember when I was in elementary school I was interested in being with both boys and girls
    In middle school had my first kiss with a boy and got my first kiss with a girl when I was 17 When I hit high school I was afraid of being made fun of and stayed in the closet but here recently I told my childhood best friend that I am bisexual.
     
  17. YuriBunny

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    I was obsessed with the thought of kissing a girl when I was about nine.
     
  18. Well, I only recently accepted my bisexuality and as I get more and more in tune with it I have begun to realize that I have a preference for women. In terms of childhood signs, I'd say there were a few.

    -I'd always volunteer to be the one to do the dare of kissing another girl at sleepovers
    -I've always gravitated towards anything LGBT; people, shows, merchandise, etc.
    -I have always been very sexually attracted to breasts
    -I only ever cosplayed as men and was always eager to do cosplay pictures in which I had to pose and kiss my female cosplay friends
    -I've always felt very strongly about gay rights and was always personally offended by anything people would say against it
    -Before I accepted my sexuality I always thought that I'd really like being a boy because I would be good with a girl
    -I used to dress pretty gay. Like cargo pants, black, gothic, etc. I don't anymore, but I used to.

    There were more signs, but those are the ones I can think of.
     
  19. Tardis221B

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    Oh my, there were quite a few signs that I missed. I was so far in the closet until recently that I was in Narnia, lol. Here's just a few of the big ones that I missed:

    -I had a naked Barbie wall. I'm not kidding. I had one of those clear shoe rack things on my closet door and I stored all of my barbies in there. Naked. My closet door literally had naked women on it. :lol: Also a surprisingly large proportion of my Barbies were girls.

    -I'm pretty sure I had a crush on the human version of Princess Fiona in Shrek. She was just so beautiful.

    -The phrase "girl friend" has always confused me. Always. Are they talking about a female friend or their girlfriend?

    -I when I played wedding with my best female friend in 2nd grade, I got jealous of her dog who got to be the groom because he was "the only boy available." I also got jealous of the same friend in 4th grade when she told me she practiced kissing with her other good friend. I was upset, I wanted to kiss her, I didn't want other people kissing her. Yeah, I was pretty much in love with her.:redface:

    -I never understood why girls were 'boy crazy' or wanted a boyfriend, and I thought it was ridiculous that my friend (the one I was in love with) had a boyfriend in 3rd grade, 7th grade, and high school. I even once wrote in my diary when a different friend told me I'd meet lots of cute boys, go to dances, and date boys in middle school that it was "getting really annoying and old."

    -In senior year of high school I confessed to my best friend that I didn't want to date the guy who I had a crush on for 4 years. I just wanted to go to a dance with him and be friends. Haha, oh boy, needless to say she was confused. I think this is what finally got me thinking.

    -And of course, I'd catch myself checking out girls in the locker room :icon_redf

    There are so many more things, but I'll stop here.
     
  20. Kai LD

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    The stuff about beautiful boys... Sounds just like my story. When I wanted so so badly to be friends (didn't understand why) with a boy I liked, he rejected my attempt to be his friend completely. It crushed me to an extent I can still feel now, since I didn't understand why I was so hurt. I remember telling myself to never let myself care that much again and began repressing my emotions in general, which took forever to even start letting go of. Third grade. Fourth grade I had a crush on a girl and simply assumed for a very long time I was not interested in guys.

    Subconsciously I think I knew but managed to avoid thinking about it until early 20s, why certain guys made me nervous in a way similar to but not identical to the nervousness with a girl I am attracted to. I assumed I was intimidated or something.

    Getting past it was a whole other story. I think quite a few people were bi from birth, but what happens early in life has a gigantic influence on how you present yourself to the world. Still struggle with it today. I think my Dad hardly believes me, probably thinks I'll change my mind. My mom accepted it though I know she would prefer I get a girl like my brother.

    Thanks for your story.