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How to tell if you're Sexually Attracted to someone?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by MouseKeeper, Aug 7, 2014.

  1. MouseKeeper

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    I need a different perspective. Can you tell me what I should look for when deciding if whether or not I'm sexually attracted to someone? What are some signs that I'm sexually attracted to anybody?
     
  2. XenaxGabby

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    Your heart beats fast, your breathing quickens, your face feels flush and hot, and most important, if certain body parts "tingle".
     
  3. MouseKeeper

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    There are times when I'm sitting across the room from somebody, and I'm looking at them, my eyes are sometimes (but not always) drawn to certain parts of their body. It doesn't matter if they're male or female. Is that a sign I'm sexually attracted to them?

    Am I sexually attracted to someone if I have only one sign? Or does there have to be more than one sign for it to count?
     
    #3 MouseKeeper, Aug 7, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2014
  4. ellyy

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    It doesn't necessarily mean that you're attracted to them, you could just be admiring their aesthetics. But I think that when you're sexually attracted to someone, you know.
    The first time I experienced sexual attraction I was 17 and it was towards another girl. Before that, because of emotional repression, I had not known what it was, but as soon as I did it hit me and I thought: "ooohhhh so THAT'S what it feels like. Now I get why people enjoy sex so much."
     
  5. Mocha

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    This :slight_smile:.

    When I see my crush I can't catch my breath and have to try not to keep staring at her!
     
  6. Damien

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    When I have to force myself not to look at someone, so as to not appear rude, is often a good indicator. But really, there's a pretty good indicator for every person, which is, what happens 'down there' when you encounter someone you find appealing?
     
  7. RAdam

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    If you have the hot's for someone, you'll know :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  8. MouseKeeper

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    The reason I asked if that's a sign, and if I only need one sign, is because that's all I get. All my life, I've only had that one sign. I've never had an urge to sleep with anybody, and I've never had that reaction "down there" when looking at anything. All the other signs that are listed across the internet are foreign to me as I've never experienced them before.
     
  9. Straight ally

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    Easy, think of those times where you crave food, specially those times when you fansy some specific food, that feeling that doesnt let you be calmed until you satiate your craving.

    After thinking of this, think about when you have an itch and you cannot scratch, and you really really want to scratch, and when you scratch you have to use your will power to stop scratching.

    Now combine this too feelings and relocate them at your penis. You feel this craving this desire to hug tight, squeeze, grab, kiss even bite, and touch and get sucked and fucked, is almost like you want to melt your body with the body of the person you are attracted too... And while none of this happen your penis feel somewhat like if you had an itch, you will probably instinctively touchyourself down there to relieve the arousal.

    Know this is just part of how it feel to have sexual attraction, its actually more complex, cause it includes feelings in other parts of the body. Also i described intense lust, some times you might get a milder sexual attraction.
     
  10. Budweiser

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    In my experience, the best way to tell is to let it take you by surprise. You're just minding your own business, then you see someone or a picture on the internet and then it's like WOW! s/he's hot! That happened to me on a youtube video, I'm pretty sure it was a picture of a calvin klein model but it did the job.

    Because if you over think it, then you end up manufacturing it or just not knowing.
     
    #10 Budweiser, Aug 7, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2014
  11. ellyy

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    I just want to say that you should be careful with labeling yourself asexual, since you might be dealing with emotional repression. The reason I'm saying this is because I used to think I was asexual and it took me a while to realize that I wasn't. I went through most of my life thinking I wasn't a sexual person at all but then I began dealing with the emotional blocks I was having and things slowly changed. This may not be the case for you at all, but still, it's best to be sure.
     
  12. waterfall

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    Until I realized I was gay I never experienced sexual attraction. I didn't even know what it felt like until I fell in love with a woman. I have been married to a man for decades and never felt any sexual urge, until she came into my life. Believe me you will know when it happens and it will hit you like a bolt of lightning. If you are not sure you have felt sexual attraction, then you probably have not met the right person. I believe some people have to have romantic feelings for someone, before they can feel sexually attracted to that person. I hope it happens for you earlier than it did for me…...
     
  13. MouseKeeper

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    #13 MouseKeeper, Aug 8, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2014
  14. blueberrykisses

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    Not to sound mean or anything but I don't really understand how you can not tell whether you're sexually attracted to someone or not. I mean when I am sexually attracted to someone I feel this this overwhelming sense of wanting to rip her clothes off and eat her alive basically. lol

    It's such a basic human feeling as I see it, it's like asking how do you know if you're thirsty? Well, you're craving a glass of water.

    ---------- Post added 8th Aug 2014 at 08:19 AM ----------

    Some people are just not attracted to random people, some people just don't have that 'wow she's hot' feeling. Maybe you are only capable of feeling sexual desire for someone you're in love with and that person hasn't come into your life yet. It happens.
     
  15. TheStormInside

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    It's totally possible... I fall into the "so repressed I thought I was asexual" camp, as well. I never had a clue what people meant when they said someone was "hot" and after a lifetime of repression I still have trouble sorting out the feelings and knowing what terminology applies to what feeling. Since I've started letting myself acknowledge my attraction to women I've definitely realized I can be sexually attracted to people and have experienced it. Previously I felt completely blind to it, but I also didn't know what I was missing, if that makes sense. It's like I removed some dark shades I never knew I was wearing, and now I can see what everyone else sees.
     
  16. stocking

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    Their so hot you just wanna knock their boots there's another one to add to what other people have been saying .:icon_bigg
    if you don't get what I'm saying it means you want to have sex with them .( sexual attraction )
     
  17. ellyy

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    What does your gut tell you (If it says anything at all)? I obviously can't decide your sexuality for you and I don't really know what else to say but I hope you find your answer. Good luck.
     
  18. Filip

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    Honestly, I always found it's an interplay of signs. As this thread attests, there are some who have the capacity to be instantly consumed with physical lust for other people, even complete strangers.

    That's not something I personally ever experienced, though. It's not that other people leave me totally indifferent, or that I'm blind to them. I can see when someone is good-looking just fine. But it barely ever happens to the point where I feel sexual desire for them.

    When I do feel sexual desire, it's pretty much the next step of romantic desire. It starts by finding a person interesting, it continues with my mind starting to concoct scenarios where I'm getting to know them better. What it'd be like hanging out, having fun, sharing a few moments together.
    And then, sometimes, the fantasy goes further after a while. I wonder what it'd be like to hold hand, to kiss them, and ultimately if having sex with them would be in the cards.

    But... it's a fairly slow procedure. You can't really show me a picture of a hot guy or girl and get a reaction then and there. Up until the moment I first slept with a guy I was quite unsure whether I'd be capable of even going through with it.

    So this is not, perhaps, an ideal, easy, answer. But to some of us it isn't really something that's easy to say, and that takes time to discover. I guess the best advice I can give you is to coninue meeting new and interesting people, and seeing where your thoughts evolve towards. If you get romantically involved with someone, take the whole intimacy thing slowly and be honest if you don't want to rush things. You might just not be someone for whom this kind of stuff comes easily. And if it never comes, being honest from the start helps avoiding unreasonable expectations.
     
  19. Sorceress of Az

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    The Tingling sensation down south,
    the thumping in ones chest,
    the fuzzy feeling emotionally.

    Keep in mind that you can be attracted to some one physically and not romantically or romantically and not physically, a good relationship needs both from both people in my opinion.
     
  20. MouseKeeper

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    If that's the case, I'll be able to confirm that I'm a Demisexual. Only time will tell.