I've been through a bit of a rollercoaster when it comes to my sexual/romantic orientation. I thought I was straight until I was about 13, then I started wondering if I was bisexual until I learned about pansexuality. Then I discovered asexuality and thought that fit me, but looking back I think I was just intimidated by the idea of sex. I thought I was a lesbian for a bit before settling back on pansexual now, which I've stuck with for over a year. I like pansexual more than bisexual because it explicitly includes non-binary people (not that bisexuality doesn't include them, but people have varying definitions of bisexuality and it just gets a bit confusing). The thing is, I'm not attracted to all genders the same way. I am attracted to personality/looks before even considering their gender but when I think about who I want to end up with, it's never someone who identifies as male, and all the people I've fallen for in the past two years have been girls. I can and do find men physically attractive (actors, characters, random guys I see), but I'm not romantically or sexually interested in them in any significant capacity. You'd have to find me a really great guy for me to even consider going on a date with one. Girls on the other hand I get crushes on right and left. I'm currently seeing this brilliant girl I go to school with and I can't really imagine myself dating anyone else right now. The immediate conclusion is that I'm just transitioning from pan to homo, but that's not true either, because I could quite easily see myself with someone who identifies outside of the gender binary. A blog I asked basically the same question to suggested I look into pansexual-homoromantic, but I don't feel like that fits because if I'm being honest I find penises really icky (not that I've ever encountered one, but I have no desire to), and men aren't my thing, so there's at least half of the people included in pansexual out of the question. And homoromantic suggests that I only date girls, which isn't true either. I've heard of polysexuality but it seems to be a label only NB people use, and I'm a cis girl. As far as experience goes, if it helps at all, I've never been in a real relationship until now (and we're not officially together), gay or straight, and, if it even needs to be said, I'm a virgin. Any kind of advice or counsel is appreciated
You've probably heard this, but it sounds like you focus on labels too much to define yourself. What if you went a day without labels? How would that feel? Just think of yourself as a person, not as a bisexual person or a pansexual person or a homoromantic person. It might be a relief not to have that pressure on yourself of defining yourself by labels.
It sounds like you're polysexual. You're attracted to 2 or more genders- In your case it seems to be females and non-binaries.
