Hello, great to find this site as I think it will be quite helpful for me. I've been married for 10 years, have pretty much decided that I am gay and will probably be ending the marriage. Just to be sure, I have started experimenting with guys (I'm scum, I know... that is not the point of this discussion). I have been very surprised with one aspect of my encounters so far (a small handful... maybe 7 or 8 times so far). I seem to have a lot of trouble "finishing". Everything starts really well and I'm really into it, but as the experience continues I get less and less turned on... several times now it has ended with an embarrassing "oh well... sorry about that". I do not have this problem with my wife (generally the opposite problem). What I need to know is if this is any indication that I am really not gay and that I should not end my marriage. Here are a few of my theories: 1. I am feeling guilty because I am cheating on my wife. The problem will go away when we are separated. 2. I am emotionally overwhelmed by the whole experience and there are feelings of nervousness, pressure to do well, etc. that are causing problems. 3. There is some physical pain involved in what I'm doing (specifically oral... I was expecting everything to feel awesome... not painful). Maybe this is turning me off and I need to be more specific with what I want? 4. The idea of gay sex is more appealing than the actual acts themselves (maybe unrealistic expectations from porn?). Maybe this will get better over time? 5. I have really only been experimenting over the last couple of weeks while my wife has been away... maybe I'm trying to squeeze too many experiences into too short of a time span and I'm just not wanting it that badly as a result? 6. I'm not attracted enough to the particular guys I've been with and I need to work harder to find my type. 7. I am really not gay and am making a huge mistake. The last theory seems unlikely to me... I am definitely much more attracted to men than women. I absolutely love kissing guys and feel like I could fall in love with the right guy some day. If anyone has any feedback about any of the points above I would be so grateful... I feel like I've already ruined more than a decade of my life (and others' lives) and I don't want to make any more terrible decisions... the more info and advice I can get the better. Thank you so much.
