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Lost my feelings for men again...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by browneyedgirl, Aug 13, 2014.

  1. A few days ago I couldn't stop looking at guys. Looking at my husband turned me on, going to the gym was too distracting. All I could think about was guys guys guys. Until I spoke to an old friend and now I can't thinking about her. Suddenly, I don't seem to have any feelings for men anymore. I just want want to be with her and only her. No one else matters...

    This is actually the story of my life, where I seem to just be flipping. But this time just feels different. Apart from the longing need that keeps bubbling up to connect with a woman emotionally. There's actually a real woman this time.

    Has anyone gone through this? I don't want to act on it only to have my feelings come for guys...
     
  2. stocking

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    I'm no expert browneye girl but , I think this is what they call sexual fluidity or when people say sexuality not black and white , which means someone sexuality changes over time .
    I've heard people refer to bisexuals like this as fluid bisexuals .
     
  3. Dionysus

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    I'm guessing that your feelings will come and go as they please, don't worry about it too much.
     
  4. I guess it would be pretty difficult to have a monogamous relationship with either sex huh - since I am pretty fluid.
     
  5. stocking

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    I wouldn't think so but then again I'm not fluid ,but being that your bi aren't you able to fall in love with anyone despite gender and you are married from previous ,post I have read and you have been faithful to your husband .
     
  6. Yes, that's right. But these emotional thoughts about women are getting really strong and my feelings for my husband are decreasing. I'm pretty sure I lean more to women emotionally and more to men sexually.
     
  7. stocking

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    Are you still attracted to him ?
     
  8. Yes, but it's getting stronger the other way.
     
  9. stocking

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    I usually do not suggest this but maybe , you should tell him and maybe have an open relationship and date a few women but let the women know ,you are married and about your husband . That's just a suggestion .
     
    #9 stocking, Aug 13, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2014
  10. Candace

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    Well your sexuality is fluid, along with libido I suppose. Just because I like guys doesn't mean that every single day, I'm mesmerized and wanting to see and talk about hot guys all day long. Some days, I don't even think about it at all! I think that it's perfectly normal, what you're experiencing I mean, and there is really nothing to worry about. :slight_smile:
     
  11. joshy the queen

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    you should first think very well you are married you have a family dont lose this for some feelings !
    i do lose my interest for men sometimes for months but i never found a girl attractive had a crush or even looked and got turned on its always normal for me i think im too gay
    the point it must be just a phase dont destroy your life for it you did get married to your husband bc you love him right?? wouldnt you be cheating on him if you went with her or did something ?? it would break his heart try to stay away from her for a while and make yourself busy with something else do something to distract yourself from thinking about her
     
  12. stocking

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    another thing you could do is distance yourself from her for a little while .
     
  13. Young Blood

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    Sexuality is very fluid...especially amongst us bisexual folk. It happens to me all the time that for a period of time, I have intense attractions to girls and then the next, to guys. And they're never equal time periods either. They just seem to come and go...So I think what you are experiencing is absolutely normal. I'm sure the "guys feelings" will come back :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  14. stocking

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    what do you think she should do I don't think I gave the best advice to her .:icon_sad:
     
  15. Young Blood

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    Well, it's normal to be sexually attracted to one gender and romantically/emotionally to another. As it is to also have a preference for one gender over the other. I will, however, disagree on the point made earlier about not being able to be monogamous because you are fluid. Of course you can be monogamous. But because you are in a commited relationship, it does not mean that your attractions for others turns off. As long as you do not act on it, I see no harm in being attracted to others. Now in regards to your situation specifically, I would hold off telling your husband for now and seeing if maybe the feelings for your husband come back and the feelings for this woman decrease, like I mentioned earlier. Maybe you could try talking to someone else about this. Someone that you trust? Friend, family member, therapist...? Sometimes talking it out with someone will make things seem a little more clearer. I hope that helped a little :slight_smile:
     
  16. I seem to have lost my feelings for men for like 2 weeks now. I have no sexual attraction to them, I rarely think about my husband. All I can think about now is being in a relationship with another woman and how fun that would be.

    I feel extremely uncomfortable when my husband wants to be intimate with me now. A month ago I was all for it. I used to check out men and I still do but it's not the same. It's just so boring now I guess.

    I'm getting so distant from my husband. If the urge to be with him does come up my mind will automatically think about a woman and the urge to be with a guy will go away. This life is just so annoying. Things have never gotten this bad before.
     
  17. Young Blood

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    Well I've mentioned before that I've lost feelings for men for months and then they came back. I lost all interest in guys and was obsessing over girls. Now I'm in one of my "guy modes".

    I do have one question for you: Have you experimented at all with a girl??
     
  18. Hi,
    I have when I was younger. I was with a few women but my eyes never left men. I guess back then I was more interested in guys. It would sort of work like this; I become super attached to a girl friend and can picture spending my days with her...until I meet a guy and the high I get off of him is very intense. Then it dies down and I'm back to thinking about women again.

    When I have my gay phases its more about an emotional bond. My straight phases are more about sex and lust.
     
  19. jahow95

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    I think Im bisexual but in the past I've only been interested in girls - when I became interested in a specific girl I would lose interest in others... sounds like the same thing as you're going through

    ---------- Post added 21st Aug 2014 at 04:30 PM ----------

    And as I understood it fluidity is something that happens over a long period of time (years), not changing back and forth every day, so I don't think it's that
     
  20. I wonder why I keep changing all the time. I used to do this women too, feel like I'm totally in love one day then the next hour be completely uninterested and want to be with a guy again. It's almost like mood swings.