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Questioning

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nightdream, Aug 13, 2014.

  1. Nightdream

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    Hello people, as you can see, I'm new here and I am questioning my sexual orientation. I'm not very desperate for answers and I know it may take me a very long time to figure it out, but asking for some advice doesn't hurt.

    Let's see what I can tell about myself that might be important on this issue... I don't have and never had any problems with the LGBT+ people even though bad rumours about the people that were part of it, probably because of the way I was raised(my parents never forced me to act like every other girl should or tried to put in my mind that being gay or transsexual was wrong) and the movies that I used to watch(I still believe that Beauty and the Beast was the one that made me be so accepting of the homosexual relationships). After telling you that, there's no wonder that having problems with self acceptance is very unlikely(I was forced to love my body because of the bullying in my childhood l BTW). So I'd say that I'm just confused about what attract me or not. I never used to have any sort of crush in those famous artists or boys from the school, I thought it was dumb to be honest. I believed that one of the worst things that could've happened to me was falling in love with a guy along with becoming like the other girls(the girly ones, I was bullied by this kind of girl, nothing against feminine girls though, I just don't get them). I'll have to admit that I had "crushes"(not sure if I should call these crushes) on fictional character, the male ones. I used to find some famous guys cute sometimes, so I used to think that I was straight and never questioned that, but I never had anything against homosexual people(I thought only gays and lesbians existed at that age) and was very supporting of them. I just began questioning after becoming very close with a girl whose is now my best friend and ended up by having a dream where I kissed her, that's when I started to research about it to try figuring this out on my own. I didn't talk about it with my family or friends because I was afraid of their reaction. I told her after spending good two years with the girl after being surethat she felt the same for me too(when she told me her feelings for me), it used to be clear for me that I was lesbian, but I've been doubting that in these last months. While searching in the web about sexuality I found out about the asexual people and just for mere curiosity, I decided to look for more information about it. That's just when I found out that non-asexual people were able to get attracted to the gender of their preference, got turned on by them. That's something I never experienced, even when I was around my crush. It reminds me that one of my family members that I've told about what I felt for this girl(I know that I said that I never told anyone about this and I really didn't, at least not before my old crush knew about it) said that if I didn't get aroused while staying close to her or anything like that, then I wasn't really attracted to her. Also, another person from my family that is quite close to me already said that've got aroused while his girlfriend was close to him. They were both males, but I think that it should happen to females too(or am I wrong?). There were times in which I fantasised about me and the girl doing... You know what... But I don't know if it came to my mind just because I thought that I was supposed to think about it while staying close to the people I was attracted istead of it being something genuine, that was coming to my head without my control. There were like only one or two times in which I really wanted to do something that friends usually don't do together, but I don't even know if this counts. Another thing that have been happening to me is the fact that I've been noticing the men's parts more often than the women's, it's something closer to aesthetic attraction, but too weak to be that(I already had aesthetic attraction before so I know what I'm talking about). When I look at the people around me, I rarely notice the guys, I thought one of my classmates was cute though. About the girls... Well... There's one that can be considere a tomboy, I've been looking at her body one time or another because of envy. She had so much more masculine features than I'd ever have in my life and that made me angry. Seeing her playing with the boys didn't help me with that. That's pretty much it...

    Okay, so after writing so much about me I'd like to ask what do you think I might be? Is there something you believe that could give me some hint about what I could be? Is there something that you couldn't understand about what I wrote?
     
  2. Abi

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    Welcome, maybe your bisexual? Maybe??
     
    #2 Abi, Aug 13, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2014
  3. Nightdream

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    Thanks for the welcome. Bisexual? Maybe... Some people already suggested that before, but I'm not sure if this is correct. I already felt attraction(mostly romantic) for someone from the same sex, but it never happened to someone from the opposite sex.
     
  4. Hey, Nightdream... honestly, it seems to me like you should just try to stay calm and live your life. I know it's hard- I'm similarly questioning right now too- but if you just focus on the things you can control- school, relationships, etc- and wait for things to happen, I think you'll be fine:slight_smile: best of luck to you.
     
  5. EpicConfusion

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    He's right. Wish you luck. We all love you :slight_smile:
     
  6. Nightdream

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    Thanks for the advice and good luck for you too. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 18th Aug 2014 at 07:42 PM ----------

    Thanks... But... Don't you mean "she"?
     
  7. Candace

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    I would consider you bisexual, but that's just me. If it were entirely up to you, whom would you date?
     
  8. Nightdream

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    Someone that was very close to me and that I felt romantic feelings towards said person.
     
  9. Aisa357

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    Hey, just curious lol... why did the movie beauty and the beast do that for you? In a way I have a similar thought, but I'm not sure why. I think it would be interesting to know :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  10. Nightdream

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    I don't even know if it was the reason for me to think like that, it's just the best explanation I could get since nobody told me that being homosexual was ok. Every person that talked about it said that it was wrong, so it must have something to do with what I used to watch. At least that's how I think it worked for me. :lol: Any other explanation for that?