How did you get used to it?

For the sexuality part I let myself really look at anyone I wanted to, wherever my eye wanted to rest. I didn't stare at people but I tried to empty out my mind a little and pay close attention to my responses. What, for me, I'd always suspected to be true was true: People either are or aren't attractive to me, and it depends on the person, not the gender.

My two cents. Thanks for posting!

 

It can take a while. It took me six years to get out of denial and finally admit I was not straight. I thought I was totally cool with it at that point, and over a period of a couple months, I came out to my family and my friends, started a new school and I was out of that closet. But even a couple months after that I couldn't help but be really angry about it. I was angry because I had this idea in my head that my life just wouldn't be as good as if I were straight. I knew in my head that there was nothing wrong with me and that I could not change who I knew I was, but it took longer for me to to feel okay about that.

Keep at it, you're doing fine. And maybe spend some more time around your gay and bi friends. You don't have to come out to them until you're ready, but sometimes just seeing that these people are totally normal and fine and their lives are just as good as straight people's can really take the edge off all that internal messy stuff that comes before self-acceptance.

Anyway, it was the people who were there for me and who went through the same kind of doubts and hurts that I was going through that really helped me get a handle on my path to self-acceptance. And bonus, through those out-and-proud queer friends of mine that helped me so much, I met my partner and I have never been happier than I am with her.

It's just a process. Hang in there (*hug*) and hang around here at EC as well--it definitely helps.

 

It depends on the individual but for me I am still learning to accept it, I am 95% there though lol I took me about 7 years. Like you said gender stereotypes are ingrained, we can't even escape it even when we are babies. Girls wear pink are talked to in a more pleasant manner etc. Boys wear blue and are told how tough they are. Even the toys we played with were gender specific.

But I think at some point, we have to start thinking about it differently, so that we can know ourselves and accept who we are as individuals. You said you are wondering if its a phase…how long have these feelings being there? Everyone is different, but for me at least, I sat down and thought it about if for a long time and I finally came to a conclusion: you can't help who you like or who you fall in love with . All we can do it accept who we are despite what society says

 

I am not experienced in this subject, as it has not happened to me (yet), but you may never get used to it. People are different.

Some people get used to it right off the bat, some take days, weeks, months, years, and even decades to get used to it, or finally accept that it's them.

Just take your time. You'll get used to it eventually. (or maybe not, but that's some people like myself)

 

The thing that finally made me comfortable with the things I was feeling was to hang out with two lesbian friends that were actually a couple.

When I saw them together, it just washed out every bit of prejudgment I had in me, they were beautiful together and they loved each other so much that at one point you couldn't notice the fact the they were both girls. I mean... They were just two people in love.

I know it might sound stupid, but it really helped me accepting my feelings.

 

I dunno if Ican be of any help as I pretty much accepted myself as bi the moment I realised. I'm not one for insecurity, so I just realised I liked guys and girls, shrugged, and moved on.

 

I just thought that being with men just kind of just was not as awesome as it seemed like everyone else thought it was. It was a bit like you've just said, "getting used to bad cafeteria food"

The thing about that though, is why should you have to get used to it? What good does it do you to try to get used to something that you don't like and deprive yourself of something that would be really awesome for you instead?

What do you hope to get out of trying to be straight? What are you assuming straight people have that people who aren't straight miss out on?

In the end I think you'll find (or at least I certainly hope you'll discover) that regardless of any perceived "better-ness" of being straight, that you'll be much happier if you instead try to be who you are.

 

I guess now that I think about it I'm still learning how to deal with it. I've gotten used to it and accepted it for the most part but because some of my family and friends still don't understand me, their negativity is rubbing off on me and sometimes I catch myself questioning myself again. I feel the same way about the gender stereotypes sometimes, that they were beat into my head so hard for so long that it's hard to not think about them occasionally. The only thing I know for sure that will cement me as what I feel I am is if I can go on a date (or a few dates) with a guy and see how it makes me feel. Without that cementing test, I'm probably only ever going to be 99% sure no matter what I do.