Knowing whether you feel sexual attraction.

I usually check the state of my "friend" between my legs. That's usually a pretty good indicator.

But wow, to be worrying about such a philosophical question at your age... I think when I was 13 I was worried about whether my voice would ever crack (it finally did if anyone's wondering )

 

errr... nah. It's just biology man. Maybe you are asexual? And it's not weird, don't worry.

 

if i wanna cuddle with them or get a little bashful thinkong about nudity then i am prob phslysically sexually whatever attracted to them


however i also feel like i operate at the maturity of a ten year old so ymmv

idk you'll figure it out dw

 

I think as you go through puberty you'll be able to see the difference between romantic and sexual attraction. Of course, it's still very possible that you're DEMI-pansexual, that you won't have sexual feelings for someone until you're close romantically. As the forbidden Godzilla sex machine said, you'll figure it out.

 

goldenarrow, I think you're at an age where a lot is changing in your mind and in your body, so to determine for sure whether you are asexual or not at this point in your life is probably going to be difficult if not impossible. Sometimes people are just late bloomers, and I'd caution against labeling yourself too early as it might lead to further confusion. I say this because I thought I may be asexual for a time, I experienced no obvious attraction, but I realize now that I was just heavily repressed. I wouldn't want you to end up doing the same to yourself so that you fit the label you've chosen. Sure, you may end up being asexual, and if so that's fine, but I think you need to give yourself and your body some more time to develop before being able to be as certain as you'd like to be.

 

Hey, dude. I'm young grey-ace/asexual - fourteen. Just thought I'd pop in to give some of my thoughts.

To put it blatantly, I get horny. The last time I did, I tried to imagine myself having sex with someone else. My reaction?

"Uh, okay, no, never mind..." and then I just switched back to my usual fantasies.

Did that make me any less horny? No. But did I want it? No.

That's how I found out I was sex-averse. Being sex-averse doesn't make you asexual, but you can use this same technique to find out if you experience sexual attraction.

In a nutshell? Stop paying attention to what your body says and start paying attention to what your mind says.

If you have someone you were or are romantically attracted to (or just anyone attractive, really), try to imagine if you can experience sexual attraction to them. Are they sexy, or are they simply attractive?

I think the sure-teller of my (grey-)asexuality is that I'm unable to see anyone as sexy, only very beautiful and/or pretty. That implies that I don't experience sexual attraction, so how the hell can I call someone sexy? Stuff like that.

Anyway, that's just my two cents. I definitely agree with the others - take your time. If you turn out to be sexual, that's absolutely fine. And if I do, that's fine too. This is all a process of figuring out yourself. If you need a label, don't be afraid to adopt it for now. No one should blame you if you feel differently later on.

EDIT: Late reply. Sorry.

 

That's pretty much how I feel. :lol:

Have you ever felt romantically attracted to someone? If not, do you feel as if you could? If so, think about your life before you started, if possible, and think about the same question.

I have never felt romantic attraction, yet I know I can. I want a romantic relationship very badly. It appeals to me. A sexual relationship, however, seems wrong, and it feels like I'm unable to make it work out. If you feel similarly, it can use it to determine if you're asexual or not. But, hey, someone can come along and prove me wrong, just like how someone can come along and prove you're wrong. You just gotta wait and see.

I know it's hard to do that, but, yeah. These things can't be rushed.

 

Well, if you're uncertain, I think you could call yourself Demi-sexual for now, and possibly change it to asexual once you're sure of your feelings.

 

I agree with Dakeli. Or just grey-asexual. Demisexuality fits under that too, but it feels better for me, for some reason.

Best of luck, dude.

 

Seriously man you're 13, I don't want to belittle anything you're feeling because I'm sure it can cause great anxiety, but at your age you don't need to worry about your sexuality. Just leave it for a few years and try work it out when you're definitely at a stage where you should have a clear sexuality

 

Yeah...if you're currently unable to feel sexual attraction, that is completely age appropriate. If you did, I'd say that was age appropriate too...13 is rather a cusp kind of age...some are there by then and some aren't.