It has taken me a long time to come to grips with this but I am sexually attracted to men. These thoughts sometimes cloud my head and I can't get them out of them. These thoughts happen frequently so I know it is a sign of this attraction. This is the problem, in real life for some reason I can't check out guys or anything like that because I get weirded out or uncomfortable. I used to think I was straight my whole life but now I am realizing that that isn't possible when I have these constant urges. For girls, I feel like I'm always trying to go after them and I have liked a few girls (whether it was the idea of them or actually liking them). For porn, it does not turn me on that much but I can still climax where as gay porn gets me everytime. However I feel turned on if I fantasize about girls I actually know because it seems like it could realistically happen. I do not do drugs or anything now but when I was younger I used to smoke weed every once in a while and I remember being overcome with gay thoughts (sexual urges). On the other hand, when I drink I turn into a guy who loves to go after girls and everything like that. That could be however because I am just horny and know that there is no chance of me going after a guy so I go after girls because it is the only realistic thing to happen that night. I have felt attraction when kissing girls and I feel like a lot of it is emotional attraction. When I've had sex with them, it has not overly turned me on but I feel like if I was in love with one then it definitely would be better. I also have no trouble whatsoever getting it up for girls (it actually goes up way too easy). I will however have difficulty climaxing so I don't know if this is a sign of something. I am just wondering how to go about my life. I know I should probably experiment with a guy but for some reason I can't get myself to do it. I have no desire in romantic stuff with a guy (it actually turns me off). This could however be just because I am not comfortable with the fact of anything with a guy and these feelings will not come until later. Have there been any gay guys who have had a similar experience as this at the age of 20? What about bi guys? Or am I something where I'm only sexually attracted to guys and romantically and sexually attracted to girls. The only thing I really know is that the gay urges are not going away so that is something I'll have to live with. Thanks for reading my thread and I would really appreciate your input! I also have never told anyone about this and don't plan on it for a while.
Yeah, there is a thing where you can be only sexually attracted to guys, but romantically and sexually attracted to girls. It's called being heteroromantic and bisexual. There was a thread on it a while ago, I think. But either way, I don't think a relationship with a man is unrealistic. Many people here are in happy relationships with the same gender. But, I'm not sure how it is over there, so I can't say. I suppose I just wanted to pop in with those two cents. Good luck.
I've had a pretty similar experience. When I first sort of came out to myself, I felt very weird looking at girls and be sexually attracted to them. I would quickly turn it off and focus my brain elsewhere. I had also thought I was straight all along, so I was only comfortable checking guys out for a while. I still wanted to look though. There was a point when I was dating this really great guy that I broke up with because I kept thinking about girls and I really wanted to be with a girl. At that point I felt like I had no attraction to him whatsoever. I know what you mean about only going after the opposite gender because it feels like the only realistic thing. I have had a crush on a specific girl for almost a year, but I've never really started the process to go after her because it doesn't seem like a reality. Everyone thinks you're straight and there would be too many questions, right? The thing is you have to get used to people asking questions for you to be able to carry through on any of it. I know it probably still feels like you and a guy would never do anything, but it's because you need to get past that mental block. There is nothing physically stopping you, so you need to remove whatever thing in your mind is stopping you. Go to a gay bar if there is one near you. Get on some chat websites and just talk to people. Go to a support group. There are lots of opportunities to meet someone. You just have to take those opportunities.
