Hey all, It's about time that I wrote all this down, and perhaps you might offer some wisdom, or maybe the process of writing it will provide some clarity all on its own. Up until about 17 I hadn't had any sexual activity with either sex. Until at college a friend who was openly gay was next to me in IT and then our legs started rubbing. Then he started touching me as I was very hard. I didn't know what to do so went to the toilet for a wee, but for some reason I left the cubicle door open. I have no idea why I did that. Whether I wanted what was about to happen, or whether I just didn't think about it. He followed me in and lets just say he finished me off, and to this day I've never came so hard, pretty much covered the wall. Immediately I felt sick to the stomach, really ill. I felt wrong, or that I'd be physically hurt. But even when I look back now, it was so powerful. I had a few days at home sick and then went back to college. It didn't happen again and it was left at that. He was a bit of a sh*t stirrer so didn't want to get too close anyways. Years had passed and various relationships with girls, and then whilst in a relationship I started talking to guys on ****** and other apps. Telling myself that it was to work out 'why' that event happened. For some reason I connected with a guy and met up at his... I gave oral and received for the first time. As soon as I came, that was it... Very selfish but I had to leave, again feeling sick. I'm now 30 and slowly believing that I may well be bisexual, but I really don't find guys all that attractive. I LOVE women... Everything about them. Only when I am horny do I think of guys... And specifically hard, suckable c*cks... Just really turns me on. I just don't know what to do... I'm currently in a very happy relationship, which I do not want to ruin, but at the same time, I feel like I need to experience more. Every time I'm horny I tend to download ****** and chat... I've even got as far as having a guy knock on the door a few months back... And then me to say 'no', 'I can't do it'... Has anyone else been through this? And any advice at all? I know the relationship thing is wrong... Help? ---------- Post added 18th Aug 2014 at 09:36 AM ---------- ******* is an app beginning with G....
Apologies for it being quite long winded... Has anyone else mainly been attracted to the male organ only when horny?
While I'm not in the position you are, you seem to have enjoyed the encounters you've had with men in the past, though there's a guilt element attached which follows you. This can be caused by you being uncomfortable by these feelings, you're in an alien situation and, as you're in a heterosexual relationship, it must be weird to try and contemplate these ideas. In terms of science, the reason that you may feel guilty is due to the brain's actions after an orgasm in men. The brain immediately shuts off sexual thoughts and what's commonly knows as 'horniness'. Unless you love someone as an individual, it can be difficult to keep up a sexual aura after this point and it may be why you're feeling sick and/or uncomfortable with yourself after these encounters. Unless you truly have a romantic attraction to a man, you'll probably have these feelings in the future. tl;dr: You may be bisexual but 'heteromantic', meaning you have sexual attraction to both sexes but only have romantic feelings to one gender. This may not end up being the case, and your feelings may change as you get older, however these are the impressions I get from what you've described above. If you have any questions or information that could contradict this, then feel free to comment it below.
Wow... You seem to know lots about this at 17... I feel like such a slow developer... Part of me just wants to get drunk and have a guy over... I have ordered a anal plug before and it felt amazing... Predictably I threw it away feeling horrible after...
I kind of have the same problem. Never had a same-sex experience, but when I masturbate to gay porn, it really turns me on, but once I come, I am suddenly almost disgusted by it and feel a strange guilt. But I have nothing to be guilty about. I'm wondering what others will have to say about this.
Well I had a load of views but not many comments... Refreshing to know I'm not the only one mate.... Does the male figure turn you on? As I seem to only focus on one part....
Yeah, the whole body turns me on, but I'm turned on most by playing with foreskins. I consider myself bi (pan?) and I've come to terms with my sexuality already, so I don't know where this feeling of guilt comes from. Sometimes it's stronger, sometimes it's almost not there.
