What does it feel like to like someone as more than a friend? I've felt like I really want to be around certain people, and for a while I thought of this as a crush when it was a guy, and just admiration for girl, but I've realised that what I feel is pretty much the same about both, but I'm not sure exactly what I'm feeling. And with the guys I've dated, I feel excited, but it wears off so quickly. Then there's nothing. I feel like I don't have a clue about attraction in the real world. I know who I find attractive, but not who i'm attracted to, I think. I don't know. I feel like somethings wrong with me, or that I've got some issues I don't know how to go about dealing with. Is this normal? Am I just picky or haven't met the right person? How do you know??? I don't know what to do, and I'm getting anxious again. It's happening at work and it's making me a bit useless and distracted. Is this just me??
Frankly, the Hollywood image of love is rarely realistic. It's usually much more a simple friendship that ends up growing into a desire to be around that person... If you feel excitement when dating, but it fades, it sounds like you might just have high standards, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that! As for the admiration vs. crush, they really can be very similar, so if you thought of one as a crush and another as admiration, I suggest you act on them as that. You'll eventually work out how you feel, but you should never feel useless or unhappy because you don't think you feel something the way others do. Hope this helped.
Thanks. It does help a little. I just feel like I'm attracted to certain personalities, but I can't tell if it's a crush or just "that's a fun person to be around and we get along great". I mean, I love my friends and want be around them all the time, but I'm pretty sure I don't fancy any of them...so what's the difference? To be honest, with the guys I've dated, I'm not sure I ever liked them, I think i was just flattered to have someone interested. With everyone else...well. I don't know about them. I only assumed the crush/admiration before I considered I might not be straight. Could all be short lived crushes or all merely admiration. Maybe I do just have high standards. Ugh this makes my brain melt
Its a hard question. Maybe you could try to become better friends with a girl you are attracted to or try to find a girlfriend and see how that goes? You might find that your attraction is lasting for women and not men.
Who do you have sexual attraction to? Who could you picture in a relationship? There are differences in relationships with men and women... And some experience attraction to both genders and say, they fall in love with a person, not a gender... Sometimes we supress our feelings... and that numbs down our feelings in general... making us a bit less lively... I'd say just relax a bit and take your time... others have taken some time for this, too...
I'm gonna try that, but the girls I like I rarely get to see. Not much I can do about that though. I already meet loads of people, they're just all over 40. Thanks for the help though, I appreciate it. ---------- Post added 19th Aug 2014 at 10:28 PM ---------- I'm not sure who I'm attracted to sexually. I feel like I mix up emotions with the physical. I think both men and women. I fantasize about both. I can definitely relate to falling for a person not a gender. When I imagine myself in a relationship with a man it feels weird. I feel more comfortable imagining myself with a woman, but I don't know if that's just because most of my close friends are women. I feel like I'm forcing myself to believe I'm feeling things I'm not when i look in retrospect, but I can't tell what's what.
It's not really the type of thing that can be answered by anyone else. Attraction will feel different for everyone. It could be that you're romantically AND sexually attracted to girls, but only sexually attracted to guys. It's just something that you'll manage to work out, over time. Don't stress about it. Spend some time thinking about you and the way you feel. (In regards to dating guys in the past but not feeling like you ever liked them - yeah, same. I could date them, and was sexually attracted to them, but there weren't any romantic feelings there.)
Maybe that it. Maybe I'm not romantically attracted to the guys I've dated. I really need to sort my head out when it comes to guys. My current track record is getting embarrassing. As soon as the flattery/whatever it is wears off (So far the longest it's lasted is a week) I know I'm not interested. Then I consistently freak out and go into anxiety mode until I officially cut off the "relationship". I guess I won't be able to tell much unless I've got moderate success to compare it to Maybe I'm just a bit screwed up. And I've never dated a girl, so no comparison there. I've been trying to just let myself feel whatever I feel and not repress anything and get more comfortable with it, but it doesn't really help on the romantic/emotional orientation front.
