I'm scared I might be straight. I'm a girl, and am currently in a strong relationship with another girl who I completely love. I've always thought I was straight before I met her, however i've had suspicions here and there. As a child i've NEVER liked girl toys. At all. It was always boys toys at maccas, boys clothes, skateboards for Christmas etc. Growing up I was so upset that I didn't have a penis like a boy, and was upset when I started growing boobs etc. When I was 12 all my friends started crushing on boys. I remember telling my friend that i've never actually had feelings for a boy before. Not even my boyfriend (at the time.) It was also when I had my first suspicions about being gay, after being exposed to lesbian porn, which I seemed to enjoy. However I know that porn cannot determine someone's sexuality and straight/man on man porn had me intrigued as well. When I was 14 I had my first proper crush, on a girl who was a leader on a camp I went to. She was amazing, she had short hair (I loved tomboys) and played guitar. I followed her around everywhere and when we had to go to bed at night I got sad about leaving her and would daydream about her. This was also the age where I started developing sexual urgers towards my best friend(girl) and managed to have my first orgasm, which was also triggered by thoughts of girls. Despite this all my future fantasies only consisted of men. When I turned 15 everyone was in relationships by then, except me. I tried to confirm to fashions and tried to start wearing more feminem clothes so that I could fit in. My best attempt was a pink hoodie haha. I was pretty sure I was crushing on boys by now (not like the girl I met on camp.) when I looked at boys, it was more lustfully, like "oh he's hot I wanna get in bed with him. " so I was pretty convinced I was still straight. Anyway this is when I got really close to my now girlfriend. Through her I discovered the world of androgyny girls, like me, who also dress like boys. It made me really excited and I wanted to date every picture of an androgynous girl I saw. Time passed and I eventually got into a relationship with her when I was 16. She was absolutely perfect. I was and still am in love with her. At the time I CONSTANTLY had strong sexual urgers towards her and fantasies. (I forgot to mention I had been having fantasies about her and had been sexually flirting with her on an off for a whole year before we got together, even though I was convinced I'm straight.) But now, I feel I'm only mentally attracted to her. Our sex life has stopped completely, and I just don't feel in the mood. I feel attracted to the woman's body I guess, but I'm really not fussed on the vagina. As for men, I really don't like their body, however I like the idea of a penis. I really can't ever imagine myself dating a man, but at the same time I just don't feel sexually attracted to my girlfriend at all, and I fear I may actually be straight. Am I just being silly? I spend 24/7 with her. 5 days a week at school, and the whole weekend with her. We're constantly in eachothers presence and don't have other friends, so we're consumed in eachothers lives and don't spare time for ourselves. I feel this may be one contribution to our lack of sex? Maybe I just need a break from her here and there to trigger a closer bond? I'm really all over the place with my sexuality. things I'm sure of: -I am the biggest tomboy there is. Not a bone of me is feminem. - i've never liked boys to the extent i've crushed on girls before. - I'm in love with my girlfriend - I have no interest in sex What are your thoughts?
You might have simply outgrown the sexual phase in your relationship, or, like you said, it might be that you're constantly with her. On the other hand, it might also be something to do with your sexuality, if you feel romantic attraction towards girls and sexual attraction to boys.
24/7... 5 days a week... Constant presence... Meh. Sounds to me like you just finished the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship and are now in married status. The problem is, most married couples have more sex. The reason is they typically do things away from their partner and have their own social lives as well as their combined social lives. Look, I'm sure everyone likes a stiff dick every now and then (almost), but it could just be that you need to get your own hobbies, interests, and privacy then see how your sex changes. When I am around my GF 24/*insertcurseword*7, my sex drive takes a dump. I usually start thinking about men or fantasizing about anything other than my current situation. When I am away from her for a bit, we hump like rabbits. It got so bad, I finally started letting her use toys on me so I would have some interest in sex. Let's do this first: Try spending some time away from each other doing healthy things. Sports, hobbies, friends not related to being "couples" friends. Have some private time to yourself. See if your sex and mindset improves. Find a way to free up every other weekend, get some time to yourself, get out, go do something. Edit: You might wonder where I got this information from. This was advice from my BAC therapist. $250 a freaking hour.
Seems to me like you may just need a break from each other. That's my suggestion. You may just be bisexual as well.
It sounds like you maybe lost a part of yourself in her. If you are no longer your own individual, take some time to figure out who you are outside of the relationship. You don't need to break up or take a break, but do something you enjoy alone without her. Maybe regaining your individuality will help you see things more clearly.
I have to agree with the others, it sounds like you need some time apart from each other. Remember that even when you're in a relationship, you're still two separate people and sometimes you need to take some time to yourself. However, it could be that romantically you're attracted to girls, but not sexually. Although this seems unlikely since you previously had sexual feelings for her, it just sounds like you're tired and need a break.
If you really truly love her, maybe you gals need to spice things up in the bedroom. Try something new. There is this thing called lesbian bed death, and I believe that is what you are experiencing. I'm not really sexually attracted to my girlfriend either. She's not like, hot stuff or anything. But I still enjoy sex with her and think she's beautiful.
I think that you do need some time apart (absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?). There's nothing to say that you like both guys and girls (making you bi) but in different ways. You might be romantically attracted to one gender and sexually attracted to the other (or vice-versa).
