this is going to be a long post! hey im 22 years old man I consider myself straight and for quite a while now I have felt very depressed because im so unsure of my sexuality. I think it all started when i was in the 5th grade and this other boy was about 3 years older then me at the time. he used to make me touch him and he would touch me, this happened on several occasions. I would never stop him either. I think because i was so young i didn't fully comprehend his actions. sometimes i would ask if we could do it. could that affect how i feel about everything now??? through out the years if growing up ive had wanking fantasies about him specifically, and also girls. after a while I started to watch transgenderd porn, but i would only like the videos of the really girly looking trans like you cant even tell that they were once a man, I love tits and round asses. it was just something about them having a penis. which would really turn me on But other times i watch straight porn and it satisfies me just the same. Ive never look at any guys and thought the were hot, yet sometimes when jerking off i think about sexual intercourse with a guy. i could never see myself getting emotionally attracted to a guy either. I feel very depressed about this whole situation. and it is affecting my life. im sick off worrying all the time. I just dont know what to do about it. Any advise?
I had the same problem for years with boys then girls after a while I discovered I'm bisexual have you considered that as an option?
In the 1940's and 50's Alfred Kinsey researched human sexuality and devised a scale (the Kinsey scale) that ranked people from completely straight (0) to completely gay (6). It's considered fairly crude by modern standards, but it still has a place when examining questions like yours. When examining sexuality Kinsey found very few people to be 100% straight (0) or 100% gay (6) at all times. Most of us sit somewhere in between and have moments of curiosity or attraction beyond our usual preferences. For most people it's very subtle and imperceptible and causes no problems whatsoever, but for some of us there is an increased awareness and it can cause confusion, doubt, worry or even panic that we really struggle to live with. Even so, it may still amount to nothing more than curiosity. Childhood events can sometimes influence our thinking and behaviour as adults, but be wary of jumping to conclusions about this. I'm sure it was very confusing for you to have experienced intimacy and touching with an older boy during childhood, but research into these matters has failed to establish a link. It doesn't sound to me like you are gay as you lack the emotional and physical connection to guys. I think you may be a little curious, but so are many others. It's not unhealthy and you indulge your fantasies with porn and masturbation. These are your private thoughts and moments, so it need not cause you a problem. If you develop a stronger connection to guys that go beyond fantasy then you might be moving further along the Kinsey scale, but for now I think you are okay. What do you think?
Thanks so much for you replies, I really do appreciate it. that really did help me learn a bit more about myself and that its okay to have feeling like this.
