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Bisexual or lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by NDark, Aug 26, 2014.

  1. NDark

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Kelowna, B.C.
    Gender:
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    Greetings, Earthlings. I come with a question that has been concerning me for a while.

    I've had crushes on both guys and girls in the past (though I didn't realize the girl crushes at the time), and after I realized I felt an attraction towards girls, I developed a crush on two of my friends at the same time – a guy and a girl. I felt more strongly towards the girl, but when I asked my little sister about it, she told me to go for the guy. Since she's the relationship expert, I did. But I lost interest in him pretty quickly and began crushing on the girl more. Of course, that didn't work out at all. XD

    However, I've begun to wonder if I'm not just lesbian. I've heard that most gays felt attracted to the same gender before they found out/came out, and that bisexual is often used as a placeholder before a person finds out. Of course, I know that it is a sexuality, and it may be what I am, but I don't know.

    My sister also tells me that I should be lesbian because I haven't recently expressed any interest in guys. Male body parts...down there...scare and disgust the crap out of me and I can't even look at them, let alone imagine one in me. Lesbian sex, on the other hand, doesn't disgust me at all, as well as the female's body. I can't really see myself marrying a guy – and I don't want to – but I've never really dated a guy, either. I haven't had any experience with either gender, and the main thing is that I don't want to close my doors. It's like what everyone around me always tells me – what if a man comes around and sweeps me off my feet?

    I really don't know and I'd like to get some advice on this. Thanks in advance to anyone who answers! (*hug*)
     
  2. Well, penises are gross. LOL

    I used to have the same problem as you. I just had to take time to figure it out. I spent two years being "pansexual" before I realized I was, indeed, a lesbian. Just relax, it will all work out in the end.

    Also, I'm the same way. I am attracted to women but, who's to say that later down the road, there could be a man who I absolutely fall for, and that will be okay! The crazy thing about sexual orientation/gender identity is that it isn't black and white. There are plenty of people who think that they are one way but then, the universe throws something else at them. That's okay.
     
  3. BethLauren

    Full Member

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    Don't feel too much pressure to stick a label on yourself. One day you might find a label that suits you, and that's fine. But you might never find one, and that's fine too! Just like who you like. (*hug*)
     
  4. wanderinggirl

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    It sounds like things are still in flux right now; maybe eventually you'll "pick one", but in the meantime props to you for staying open to both genders.

    Just don't force yourself to have experiences with both; if something happens and it feels right go for it, but don't get into an uncomfortable situation just for the sake of "trying it".
     
  5. cuppycake

    Full Member

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    The reason why I've wrote that I am 'unofficially lesbian' is that. I have people telling me that I just haven't met the right man yet, and that I can't really say I'm 100% Lesbian unless I know for sure that I won't like a guy one day.

    Truth be told, I don't believe it. I just don't like men. I don't want to like them. I can't imagine having sex with a man, and marrying one will be a nightmare for me. I'm just legitimately scared of them, and I feel uncomfortable around them. I don't care that someone's telling me I can't be sure I'm lesbian unless I try it with a guy. I know who I am, and I don't want to go and try it with every single guy in the world just to prove it to myself.

    A little advice - don't go and force yourself to be with a guy if you don't love him or if you don't want to be with him. If you're wondering what is your sexuality (because you said you like both genders), just go with what feels natural to you, and don't think too much about what might happen in the future. Your heart and your mind should belong in the present, mkay?

    Good luck <3
     
  6. JGurl

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Edinburg, Tx
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Just be you and Love who you love.