Hello all and thank you for taking the time out to read this. First off I i just need some honest opinions on what you think my orientation is. When i first entered puberty most likely around 12 years old i started viewing porn and masterbating. At first i always masterbated to the thoughts of girls because that was what i was truly into. When i first saw a naked girl i was immediately attracted to it and could not keep my eyes off. From there i viewed girl on girl porn. After viewing girl on girl porn for a while i switched to watching Transexual porn because i liked the way girls looked but also liked looking at the penis. After watching transexual porn i viewed gay porn. I was able to masterbate to the gay porn. What i enjoyed from the gay porn was that it was 'doggie style' and i had never seen that before. After viewing a couple more gay porn videos i stopped and said what does this mean. Form their i started looking online and everyone said it means I'm gay. side note, This was around the time where I was 13 years old and still masterbating to girls and having crushes on girl. Anyways long story short ever since then I would be in times of distress because i think that i have to be gay because i watched gay porn. Do not get me wrong i see nothing wrong with being gay i just feel that the lifestyle is not for me. I truly can not see myself falling in love with a man and spending the rest of my life with them as well as having a sexual life. I do have girlfriend now who i am in love with. She makes me feel happy, butterflies, i miss her when were apart, and i want to be with her on a physical level as well. Ever since i was 13 i haven't viewed gay porn as much and recently having not viewed it in a while, looking at it now, it had no affect on me. I found it boring and wondered to myself how i ever did masterbate to it. What is causing me distress now is that could i be in denial? The reason why i worry about this is because i do not want to continue to date the girl i love and end up realizing that I am gay.(not that there is anything wrong with that). Thank you again for taking the time out of your day to read this it is greatly appreciated. :icon_bigg
So if I'm hearing you correctly, -- You watched gay porn as a young teen -- You have a girlfriend who excites you sexually -- You now find gay porn boring and unarousing. So, if you also find when you are masturbating without porn that your fatasies are only about girls and not guys, then I don't think there's much question that you're straight. If you're still having fantasies about guys, then most likely you are either bi or your discomfort about being gay is getting in the way of accepting that you are gay.
