I think deep down everyone is capable of being bisexual.

IMOHO If we could all just choose which gender we wanted to be with, it's pretty safe to say that no-one would ever struggle with their sexuality as it would merely be a choice. Heck look all over this forum and you'll find infinite stories of people who desperately tried to make themselves Straight in order to conform with societal norms and you'll see that we all failed terribly because for most of us we just can't choose which gender we want to be with.

 

So think of it this way- you're told that you're going to grow up and fall in love with someone of the opposite sex, get married, have kids, and so on. This is the expectation you have starting out for yourself because it's the expectation others placed on you, and it's what you see most around you, as well. I think this is a big part of why so many gay people realize rather late in life that they are gay.

You may not even realize that you aren't legitimately attracted to the opposite sex until you allow yourself to acknowledge the real attraction to the same sex. It's only by comparison that it's like "Oh, *that's* what people were talking about!"

To answer your question about love, I was totally in love with my ex boyfriend, but I was not attracted to him sexually. I see other lesbians and gay people say similar things about their past opposite sex relationships. You can love someone without the sexual attraction component.

I can't really answer your question about gay men having sex with woman, that's a little outside of my range of experience. :icon_wink

 

In many societies and in much of human history marriages were arranged, they often had nothing to do with attraction or love at all ... yet they managed to reproduce, somehow.

I'm just going to assume that the human ability to fantasize might have something to do with it...

 

Excellently put, I think this was the experience that most of the people here who forced themselves to be with the opposite gender (myself included) had! We loved the person dearly but the raw sexual part was just simply missing, like "wtf why don't I feel anything when we're intimate even though I'd give an arm for this person?".

 

Maybe I misinterpreted this, but bisexual people don't choose which gender they want to be with. I'm sure gay and straight people don't go around picking who they're attracted to, either.

As for OP, this is a really debatable topic. A little while ago, I identified as bi because I thought I could be with a woman - but my desire and attraction to men were much, much, MUCH stronger and appealing. That's why I identify as gay.

Some people share the same experiences. There was one straight woman who fell in love with another woman - but she was the only one, so she kept her orientation as straight.

If you're attracted to one person outside of your usual attraction area, you don't have to change your label because they're just one out of many, many others.

And, I confidently believe that there are gay and straight people who are, indeed, exclusively gay and straight. It's just that our sexualities are not as black and white as it may seem - the lines are extremely blurred.

 

I always find the comment deep down everyone is capable of being bisexual
Homophobic .
Your telling me some how I'm in denial about my sexuality , I've spent most of my life trying to be bisexual , trying to like men getting raped in the process of trying to be a bit bi . I hate it when people say stuff like this , It's just like me telling you a bisexual person ,that you have internalized homophobia and don't know your gay yet or your a fence sitter .

This thread is very hypocritical and I find some bisexual, people who say this to be hypocritical . How dare you try to diminish gays and lesbians sexuality just to make yours more valid .
I honestly find this comment offense .
I'm not capable of being bisexual
You are speaking for yourself and not me .
People can be exclusively attracted to the same sex .
I honestly don't know what I hate most smug bisexuals or biphobia .

Gay people have killed themselves trying to ,at least feel something for the opposite sex; Many lives have been lost and people who say these things , are no different than the homophobic bigots that tell gays their sexuality is a choice . Bi people who say these things should know better than anyone .
Because it sounds like your telling me I'm choosing not to be into men , well I got news for your I'm not I'm only exclusively attracted to women .

Your thread reminds me so much of what my female friends say to me and don't believe I'm lesbian and tell me I should try men , or I didn't try hard enough to like men . This is down right disgusting and dangerous thinking . It looks to me the victim is now becoming the persecutor .

 

It's possible anyone could have sex with anyone, sure. But not everyone is going to have sexual attraction to everyone, or even enjoy it. By your logic, if I eat vegetables, I'm a vegetarian, even if I don't really like them.

While it would be convenient for everyone, if everyone were bisexual, because we wouldn't have to beat around the bush or second guess; life isn't allowing such.

 

I find this thread homophobic .:dry:
I respect that he thinks that way but I'm going to call this for what it is and I know people will tell me it's not but to me it is . I have no tolerance for biphobia , and I also have no tolerance for homophobia either .:dry:

 

I think stocking puts this very well, and expresses well the rage that gay people feel (and straight people should feel) on hearing this hypothesis.

If you really need to believe that deep down, everyone is like you (or even that deep down, everyone is the same), life's just gonna prove you wrong.

But I think that although the sentiment is homophobic (it's homosexual-denying), I don't think it indicates homophobia (necessarily) on the part of the OP. I think the OP just hasn't thought it through sufficiently, hasn't thought through the ramifications to homosexuals of making this assertion (so wasn't particularly sensitive), and is feeling frustration over a situation. Doesn't excuse it...but it helps to bear the context in mind.

 

This thread is homophobic and honestly, this is the sort of mentality that leads a lot of straight men to harass lesbian women. Maybe it's better just to take what people tell you about their sexuality at face value instead of projecting your own subconscious on them.

 

Thank you

@Annika I totally forgot to put straight people:eusa_doh: in thanks for adding that

 

I can see what you're saying, but I don't agree. As the others have said, people have tried very, very hard to make themselves like the opposite sex, but it doesn't work. I don't believe they can make themselves bisexual.

However, I think they can learn to love people of both sexes like a family, as you put it. The line between family love and romantic love can sometimes be blurred, but in this opinion, I'm leaning more towards family love. For instance, in some cultres where there are pre-arranged marriages by parents, some partners don't like their spouse any more than a gay man would love a woman. But they can learn to love each other in a family sense once they've spent a long time together.

 

:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

Stocking rage is very appropriate here.

 

The love this guy felt was most likely platonic and not romantic.

I am super horny and could impregnate a chick no problem, but I'd be thinking about guys the whole time.

 

Bisexuality is about sexual attraction. A gay man or lesbian can marry the opposite sex and fall in love with them as a person, but It's not the same kind of love a straight person would feel in that situation. They can choose to have sex, but it doesn't have the same kind of passion.

Not everyone has bi-tendencies, and I find it rather offensive. I am incapable of being attracted to a man, and as someone who has internalized homophobia, trust me I would if I could.

The thought of being penetrated by a penis makes me want to vomit, or hell, even being kissed by a guy is uncomfortable. I'm sure I could love a guy, but only as a friend.

 

I'm not being too sensitive ,you are suggesting that everyone else is in denial about their sexuality besides bisexual people. Which is both homophobic and heterophobic. If I made a question saying bisexual people aren't really bisexual but are actually gay . Wouldn't that be biphobic?
Plus you didn't ask a question you made a statement saying you think everyone is capable of being bisexual.
You also said gay people who pretend to be straight can be bisexual .

 

^This. There are plenty of people who are strictly gay.

 

Yup now in addition to questioning your sexuality you're being gaslit. OP please read about Gaslighting, Ad hominen attacks when someone is calling you out for problematic statements (not questions) isn't good form. If the statement were reversed (as was stated previously) about bisexuals you would find it problematic too. Gaslighting is something that is done the majority of the time to women and it seems like this is supposed to be a safe place for us to be, it shouldn't be a misogynistic or homophobic place.