Hello all, For quite a time I've been confused about my sexuality, so I would be extremely helpful if I could get any advice on this forum. I am 27 years old guy and I have always identified my orientation as straight. I have had crushes on girls when I was a child and been in intimate relationship with several women, being severely in love with one of them. Up until a couple of years ago I never questioned my orientation at all. At some point in time, however, I would hear from some people that they were thinking I was gay. I must tell though that I do have several feminine traits and never did sports (due to a physical ilness). After being taken aback by such remarks I got extremely insecure and started actually questioning my orientation. I am sure that only I can know it, but after reading more about 'gaydars'I got extremely scared if I wasn't in denial. I must add that I have always been a severe OCD sufferer and I have a lot of similarities to what is called hocd. However, I would very much like to be open to myself and I am trying to look at things as logicly as possible. But there are so many doubts in my mind, that I really don't know what to do and what to start with. Any advice/thoughts would be very much appreciated. Thank you very much in advance for all your help!
I think it's worth thinking about whether you have ever been attracted to a man in the past, have you ever wanted to be in a relationship with a guy or have sex with a guy etc. Effeminate behaviour doesn't make you gay, that happens to be a stereotype. I hope this helps
Don't let other people tell you your own mind, that's the issue with stereotypes. Have you ever been attracted to a man?
Hi goldenarrow and wolf of fire, Thank you for your reactions. I have never been attracted to a man romantically or had a desire to have sex with a male. I have really been thinking about this for some time now and try to look at the things as objectively as possible. Intrusive/compulsive thoughts - yes, romantic desire - no. What I have since recently, is that once I come across somebody thinking I am a closeted gay, I get extremely insecure about myself and depressed, while before that I felt very comfortable abot my identity and my romantic/sexual preference. This insecurity leads me to a fear that I might be in deep denial. Now I really want to figure out what is going on and how to get rid of this anxiety that gets reinforced each time I hear such remark. Thanks.
If you don't feel any attraction towards men then it's highly unlikely that you are gay, these thought could just be doubts caused by the remarks people are making which can happen with most things.
Thanks. The question that keeps disturbing me though is the precision of people's gaydars. So I don't know whether people who think I am gay, just misinterpret something or see/feel something that I don't see/feel?
