for over a year now I've been extremely confused with what to call my sexuality/how to accept it. I think deep down I've always known I was somewhat attracted to girls but I never thought anything of it and always liked boys. For my whole life all I can remember is having crushes on boys and liking boys. I've had two relationships with guys and fell hard for both of them. When I think of having a boyfriend or being with a particular guy, I usually get feelings of happiness or butterflies and i feel like I have a crush on them or want to be their girlfriend. I can get turned on when I'm sexually with a guy but its not as strong as how I get turned on recently when I think of girls. I know this is really confusing but lately I've been more sexually attracted to girls, yet I can't see myself being with one romantically (as of right now, I've never had crushes). I have extremely bad anxiety and its based around having obsessive thoughts. When I have obsessive thoughts its literally all i can ever think about and sometimes it even creates problems that were never there before which is confusing for me. I really like guys romantically and I think guys are very good looking, but I'm so confused because just recently I've been feeling turned on mostly by girls. I don't think i am straight, but I don't know if Im just gay either because I do get feelings for guys. I usually enjoy hooking up with guys more when Im in a relationship with one. It kind of changes a lot, I'll find myself thinking about guys and not even thinking about girls..and now its the opposite kinda. I like dick and really like giving head and what not, but with the body of a guy I don't really like abs and stuff, I like a good face and maybe arms. I like a girls body but thats really new and about it. HELP i don't know what to do with this. This entire situation is taking me over and its exhausting me to the point I finally came here for help.
I'm sorta was (still kinda am) in almost the same boat as you. So you've had this strong attraction towards femakes, and a mediate/weak attraction towards males. But, your heart always flutters for the opposite sex, but you cannot picture yourself with the same sex. Do you know any information about romantic attraction? It can most certainly assist you a bunch! Let me explain it : When our hearts have flutter-like, gushy feelings for someone and we can vision ourselves with that someone, or gain a crush on them, that is romantic attraction. Whether you vision building a life, snuggling underneath cozy blankets, or living happily with that someone. Here are some definitions: Heteroromantic: Having romantic feelings for members the opposite sex Homoromantic: Having romantic feelings for members of the same sex Biromantic: Having romantic feelings for members of the opposite and same sex Panromantic: Having romantic feelings for members of any sex/gender Aromantic: Having no romantic feelings for any members of any sex/gender But this obsessive thinking is a situation I'm still tolerating with too. It feels as if you have to discover that answer now, and if you wait any fraction of a second longer, you'll burst with confusion. I recommend if you relapse into those mind devouring thoughts, engage in your favorite activity, whether watching your favorite movie, coloring, singing, etc.. Or what I did to cease a sum of those thoughts is discuss this with a reliable friend, it really effaces your mind from that negativity. Personally, bisexual heteroromantic sounds like the label for you, but however if your sexual attractions towards boys fades away, then you could most likely be a homosexual heteroromantic. Sexuality is such a complicating matter, but I or anyone else cannot determine and actually discover your true emotions/feelings/attractions, this is a solo adventure. It seems petrifying and really horrific, but you'll soon find that answer, I know that for sure. Good luck, I wish you the best! Please believe in yourself, and follow your heart dear! (*hug*)
Hi sparkling, and welcome to ec by the way I too was attracted to the opposite sex for most of my adult life, and only this year I began 'allowing' myself to fantasize about (and lately, even flirt with ) guys, without inhibition or very much shame around it (still working through some acceptance issues). And since then, began an unfolding journey of discovery that continues to this day, and continues to surprise me also. Don't worry if you don't have any label with which to define yourself. I am learning how to live without one, and just be accepting of my feelings as they naturally arise, whether they be for guys or for girls. If either is ok, then there's no need to sweat it, is there? Whether one is gay, bisexual, straight, or whatever, either way it's all good. So I encourage you to learn how to live with a bit of uncertainty, at least for now. You will discover in time, as you explore these feelings more fully, 'where' you fall on the sexuality spectrum, but there's no rush. Focus more on accepting the outcome whichever way it might end up falling.
I am in the same situation as you to some extent. All I can say is maybe some sexual experience with a girl would make you more clear on your sexuality. Now I don't mean go out and have sex with the next lady you see, I just mean, maybe wait till you're comfortable to experiment with someone. If you like it I would say you were bisexual to some degree. But remember, sexuality is a huge spectrum, more than just being straight, bisexual and gay. It can be very confusing, but remember no matter how you turn out you'll always be a good person, no sexuality is wrong. Just don't sweat it, see how things roll out, get some experience with both sex and start to see where your feelings travel!
I've thought about the fact that I could be bisexual heteroromantic before and that does make sense. I don't know how to explain it the sexual attraction I feel for both guys and girls is different. I develop feelings for guys and actually want a boyfriend right now, but I wish I had that strong of a sexual attraction for men as I do girls. Maybe it'll change. I also feel like my anxiety and me overanalyzing every single move I make and thought I have definitely has a lot to do with it. ---------- Post added 30th Aug 2014 at 06:02 PM ---------- I really appreciate that, that made me feel better! I think right now I'm more comfortable with (if I label myself at all, which I get I don't have to right now ) the label of Bisexual Heteromantic, because idk if I can see myself completely giving up guys for good you know? ---------- Post added 30th Aug 2014 at 06:04 PM ---------- yeah maybe, I also think my anxiety and constantly obsessing about my body's reactions affects it. The more I obsess the stronger the feelings get so in some way it could be mental, not saying there isn't attraction but it could be altered
