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Please help me figure out my sexuality :S

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by overgrown, Sep 2, 2014.

  1. overgrown

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    I'm having a really hard time figuring out who I'm attracted to. For most of my life I thought I was only attracted to men, but I'm not so sure anymore.

    When I was 13 I was "sure" I was gay, but then I sort of forgot about it for about 5 years haha. I've recently been on dates and even kissed men just to try it out, but I feel nothing (I found it quite gross). I had an intense crush on a guy before, but now I'm questioning if I REALLY had a crush or if I just liked the attention, because I never felt that comfortable around him, especially when it got physical (I was never the one to initiate anything).

    I guess the main reason that I'm questioning my attraction to women is that I've never had equally intense feelings for a woman in real life. Sure, I follow pretty much every series with a lesbian couple and like staring at pictures of Olivia Wilde and Kristen Stewart, but I feel like I need feelings in real life to...validate my attraction, if that makes sense? :grin: I feel very comfortable around women and because of that I like being close to them and I find myself wanting to make physical contact all the time, unlike with men.

    Help would be appreciated :SS
     
  2. Quem

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    I understand what you mean! I sometimes feel the same!

    See, in films, everything is full of emotion. You hear the music play, see tears falling and see intense joy. But in real life, all you see is people. You can't compare a film to real life.

    I can't know what your sexuality is for sure (and it's actually not up to me to label you), but it's possible that you are indeed lesbian. You say that you want to make physical contact with women, so that's definitely something (especially when you add up that being physical with men is not really your cup of tea).

    Hope I've helped at least a little! (*hug*)
     
  3. overgrown

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    Weird question, but since you're bisexual, do you feel like your attraction to different genders is in any way different? Or does it all just feel the same?

    I can't really imagine having a physical relationship with a man, but I can possibly with a woman. I guess the answer's staring me right in the face, isn't it?
     
  4. black-cat

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    You could be bi, you could be gay.

    I think many gay people will say that they did have a relationship/intimate with someone of the opposite gender to try it out, convince themselves that they are straight, because that is what everyone else is doing, whatever- but that doesn't mean that they *are* straight, just that they had feelings towards someone for whatever reason, even if it was just to prove a point to themselves/others. Until you know for sure, have fun experimenting (!) LOL
     
  5. Quem

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    That's not a weird question at all! It depends, some people are more attractive than others and that certainly plays a huge role. And for me, it's (perhaps) a little complicated, since I am not easily sexually attracted to anyone, unless I know them. Romantic attraction is exactly the same, but I don't think you were asking me about that.

    But, short answer, it's quite the same, I can't really generalise it.

    Some say it does, some say it doesn't. :icon_bigg Perhaps it might to question yourself why you can't imagine having a physical relationship with a man. I think that question could very well lead to the answer. (*hug*)

    Although not everyone has the urge to experiment to figure out their orientation, black-cat made a point for sure. It may help you a lot.
     
  6. overgrown

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    Thanks for the answer :slight_smile:

    Well, my escapades with men so far haven't been that great so far haha... :grin:D I don't really know how to go about experimenting. And whenever guys flirt with me I feel weird because I feel like I'm leading them on.