Hello I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize for my English. I have been wondering about my sexuality for ages. Here's the deal: When I was a kid I was really attracted to men in every way possible. I was sexually aware at a really young age and new that I liked boys, a lot. I remember camping with my family and meeting a friend, we were alone for some time and I was extremly attracted to him, in a sexual way. I even remember humping one of my crushes and being totally turned on- I was 3, lol xD I went on to have lots of crushes and couldn't understand why man would fancy women, because men were so sexually appealing and handsome. Until I was 13 I used to get an instant crush feeling on some men and boys, the feeling, when you feel electricity and heat all over your body and just want to jump on them. However, I got off to lesbian porn easily since I was 7, i believe. But never crushed or had feelings for a woman I had for a man. When I was 13 a friend said I was going to be a lesbian, and that's were the questioning started. I was still very attracted to men and definitly liked their muscles, so much, that I even started to watch soccer. Anyway, my lesbian porn preference got me thinking, also when looking straigth porn I sometimes identified with the men. I started obsessing over my sexual orientation and at the same time had a lot of troubles with my dad. He always was emotionally abusive, and this time I was so angry and wanted to swear off men. I still felt attracted to them, but after a time I got depressed, and my feelings vanished now-completly. I don't hate them, but I feel nothing for them anymore. I haven't fallen in love with women or something, and I don't get turned on by them anymore, but sometimes I wonder if I'm just in denial. I mean a straight women doesn't get turned on by lesbian porn, right? More over when I was a kid I made Ken and Barbie and Barbie and her friend kiss, and liked both.. Has anybody felt something similar? I would love to have a relationship, but I'm scared to hurt any partner, be it man or woman.:help: I don't want to date a woman and realize I'm propably straight and hurt her, and at the same time I don't want to date a man and realize I'm gay and hurt him.:help:
Dating someone may be a good way to tell where our attractions lie. Might hurt them, but it's better that you know, and there's always someone else out there for them. Porn doesn't determine your sexuality. I have heard that many straight women like lesbian porn too, so don't base anything off what porn you like.
Thank you I'm leaving for college soon. I hope things will clear up there. I'm so tired of questioning...
Did anyone bisexual or lesbian go trough something similar? Because I haven't found anyone who had a similar story:icon_sad:
