So I've recently told my best friends that I think I might be gay and they were completely okay with it, which made me feel a lot better. I felt like a burden had been lifted of my shoulders. One of them brought up the question of how do I really know when ive never been with a guy before and I told her that in my heart it just felt right to be with another women. she asked if it was just a phase and i told her no, which also shed a little on the situation. All in all she was happy for me. They both were asking me question which I had no answers to and they were all questions that were running through my head. Which brings me to my questions on which I hope you can help me answer. How do I experiment or put myself out there when I don't want anyone to know just yet? I feel like it's going to be hard because half of my high school graduating class is going to the same community college as me and they all talk. One question my friend asked me was are you going to date an man first before you date a women so you know your true feelings. should I? Well thats it for now. I really hope you can help shed some light on this and help my confusion.
Hmm, I can't answer bout how to experiment without coming out of the closet. You can try online dating sites. As per whether you should date a guy to make sure of your feelings, I don't think so. For one, this would be unfair to the guy you're experimenting with. Also, just follow your heart.
Umm no. You're right, they're wrong. Trust your instincts. Your friends are looking out for you but they are not in your head/heart; only you know what feels right. If you know that you prefer the color green to the color yellow, you don't need to try painting your room yellow before you paint it green in order to really know which color feels best. You know you're gonna hate/be ambivalent about the yellow; just paint your friggin room green already. Many gay/lesbian/bi people did have to sleep with the opposite gender before we figured it out, many did not. I had to paint my room a whole bunch of colors before I settled on one, and some days I'm still like "ehhhh... not so sure about it". As to experimenting without people knowing; do what feels comfortable. If you can get to the point where gossip doesn't bother you, then that will be ideal. But if you need your space away from prying eyes, try to seek out queer spaces where you feel your privacy and confidentiality will be respected. Good luck!
Your friends are completely wrong, and sleeping with a man won't prove anything since sexuality is in the mind. Also there are lesbians who experiment with women and hate the experience because either a) It sucked/they weren't good, b) no connection, c) wasn't for them, realized they can only kiss/have sex with people in relationships. But they're still lesbians. And likewise, lesbians can experiment with men and enjoy the physical sensation, but lack a real attraction. So it really means nothing. So no, DO NOT date a man if you don't like them; trust me, It'll be a disaster
Follow your heart and your head. I've been having sex with men for 12 years and it proved nothing except that I wasted a lot of time.
