i feel like im just running in circles:bang::bang::bang:. i think fear is causing me to question my sexuality again, and again, and again. at the end of each time i keep end up saying im gay (mostly gay..5 on kinsey). i have said it before but for the purpose of this post, im 20 years old, have had no relationships because i have hidden from them and my feelings... for 10+ years. i think that i fear coming out or something and that makes me think of ways to avoid having to come out.. like trying to say im just curious, confused or its just a phase. i can look at my past and present and i have have many sexual attractions to guys and not really any to girls. i tell my self to try and pursue a relationship with a guy (witch i really do want) to almost prove to my self how i feel. the problem with that is... i don't want to hurt anyone in the process.. also i don't fell right about doing something like that without people close to me not knowing about this. i like to be open to people and honest, and if i don't tell them i would feel like im living a "secret" life. how do i get past this loop of circles i keep running around in? on the surface of my mind, i really want to tell people, but underneath it all, i think it scars the living $h!t out of me.:help:
It sounds like you haven't accepted your orientation, even though you know what it is. Try standing in front of a mirror, and saying "I'm gay, and that's ok" a couple of times. I know it sounds kind of silly, but it really helps.
makes since. other than doing that what can i do. i feel like its really weighing down hard on me and i just want to be able to tell people. do you think its ok to come out even though i have not fully accepted it?
Ask yourself why you don't accept it. You'll likely see that the reason is based on fear, rejection or anything like that. You are who you are and there's nothing wrong with that. (*hug*)
I, too, have been scared to death of coming out because I don't want to hurt anyone. Much to my surprise, the 13 people I have told so far have all been perfectly fine with it. It's really not as bad as your mind is telling you it will be.
