Ugh so confused.

Hii I really need some advice and just let some one know how i am feeeling. Im 19 years old and i am a girl. In middle school i started dating a lot of boys 3, 4 years older than me and i loved it. I was sexually attracted to them and would make me horny when we would make out and such. :icon_redf but i never really had any strong feelings towards them . None of them! I would dump them because i would get bored of them and it sucked because they really did love me. Anyway as i entered high school, i started noticing some lesbians in my school. In my mind i thought they were really hot and they were like the butch kind not girly at all but for some reason i started fantasizing about the things i would do :tantrum:to them... It was soo confusing bcus i would still go out with some of my guy friends and occasionally make out with them but i wouldnt get horny or turned on at their touch any more, i was simply just kissing them or doing stuff to them FOR them and i felt so lonely bcus i wasnt with someone that actually cared for my needs. :tears: i started watching porn to get some of that release that i needed so much but found myself going straight to the lesbian porn and climaxing at seconds of watchin the girls. Straight porn disgusts me & idk why! I had so many boyfriends in middle school but once i hit sophomore year in high school, i couldnt stand guys let alone be in relationships wit them. I just started college and i still havent gotten a bf but i did have sex with two guys and in both occasions it was nothing of what i had hoped for. I DIDNT FEEL ANYTHING. The whole time i was slightly turned on but i never orgasmed. I dont understand me, its soo frustrating! Do i have to have sex with a girl to know if maybe i do get turned on by her or may i be asexual? I've only had sex twice with these two different guys and I felt the same on both ocassions - out of place. The guys were enjoying it so much and they told me how much they loved it and i just didnt know what to say... What do i do?!? What am i?

Ps. One of the guys i had sex with, i really wanted to be in a relationship with, i wanted to be his gf! But he has commitment issues so i decided to break things with him bcus he was just playing with me and making me lose my time.. Maybeee if i would have ended up being in a relationship with him, I might have started enjoying the sex? Idk im sooo confused.