Hi, first post here so firstly hello all! I've always till recently assumed I am straight, I've only ever been in one relationship and that was with a guy. Ever since that relationship ended I became a right cynic about relationships and love and at the same time realised I'm not really attracted to many men and although at times I think sex may be nice when I really think about it I just think that straight sex is kinda gross and messy and dirty. I wouldn't say I've ever really been turned on by women (although I've never had a sexual experience with a woman so I guess I wouldn't know) but I do notice women more than men. When I go for nights out I always hope that women take notice of me as opposed to men. I've often been mistaken as being gay because I have short hair and dress quite masculine. The fact that this is so stereotypical annoys me but people assuming I'm gay kinda flatters me at the same time. I've always said no I'm not but then I like the fact that people think I'm gay, and I feel like my attitude towards men and relationships would make sense If I was gay, to the extreme that I would feel disappointed if I turn out not to be gay. I hope that I am gay because I feel that it's right, even though I've never been with a woman! I'm completely rambling on here but it's nice to put this down into words. I'm really very confused and would really love to hear from people who've gone through the same confusion. Thanks Vespa27
Hi, and welcome to EC! You shouldn't feel bad because of your sexuality, regardless of what it is. If you're attracted to both men and women, you might be bisexual. I would say don't stress out about it too much right now, and see what happens as your feelings develop. Deciding you're something and then realizing you're not is worse than waiting a bit.
You might have a look at this: Am I Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender? There is sexual attraction and romantic attraction... I'd say take your time... (*hug*)
I have never been with a man (or a woman, for that matter) but I still know that I am gay. You know yourself better than anyone else on this earth. You should, ultimately, be the one to make the final call as to what your sexuality is. Based on what you've said, though, it sounds to me like you might be gay. If that's the case, prepare yourself for a real journey. It's not easy to face, but it sounds to me like you are already comfortable with being gay for yourself, and that already is a major accomplishment. I wish you the best of luck and hope that answers come to you in good time.
This one is difficult. In regards to your sexuality, only you can know. You could be gay and learned that from your experiences, but It's also possible you could be straight and don't like the heteronormative dynamics which is why you want to be gay.
Thanks for the replies, this is a really lovely community! I know that I need to wait but I am so impatient I feel like a teenager again who can't wait to lose her virginity! In a way it'd quite exciting! Flirting with guys has always made me feel uncomfortable and slightly naseaous for a long time and I guess I worry that if I turn out not to be gay I'll be alone for my whole life because I just don't like the idea of being with men.
Wow I have been feeling exactly the same way lately. I've got this sense of anticipation regarding when I will have my 'first kiss' with a guy, which for me seems very alluring, as I've not done it before. As you put it, I feel like a teenager wanting to lose his virginity; yes I agree it's fun in that sense
Welcome to the club! Btw if it feels right I think there's a big possibility that you are indeed gay. Only you can know for sure though. I wish you all the best and feel free to post more, there are many people here on the forum willing to help. (*hug*)
Being gay doesn't have much to do with wanting to be gay, it's more about feeling intense attraction to the same sex and not being able to pretend it's not there. Once you experience something like that, you'll know for sure. Meanwhile, keep an open mind.
