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am i accepting it? sitting here scratching my head.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by wolfy1, Sep 11, 2014.

  1. wolfy1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    so this is weird....
    after a lot of time trying to accept my self being gay, i find my self now, just not caring so much. like before i was having panic attacks and what not, but now its just like w/e to me. is this me accepting it, or trying to forget about it? i still feel scared to tell others atm, but idk. did i just accept that im gay? i don't know if i did or not, like im still kind of in my mind telling my self that i might not be.. like almost holding onto what im expected to like.

    also, i am 100% aware that sexuality is not black and white. i place my self to be a 5 on the Kinsey scale. i like guys, and only ever seeing my self..."doing it" or being in a relationship with a guy. but a part of me has some kind of attraction to women.. but not really sexual. i have no want in having sex with a woman... in fact im a little disgusted with their "down there". i don't even want to kiss them. the only thing that i kind of like is cleavage. not so much boobs... just cleavage. idk why, but thats kind of the reason why i put my self at a 5 on the scale. is this normal? i also sometimes get uncomfortable just being around girls, idk why.

    one more thing. idk if any one else is like this but, for example: i will be walking into my college campus and be checking out guys... just like "hes cute" or "wow", but am not like "i want him so bad". like im checking out guys but not in a very sexual way. idk if its because i think that they are straight and i have no chance or what, i do this even if they are "my type". i do think of some guys in a sexual way. there is a guy in one of my classes that i cant stop looking at and some times cant get him off my mind... but for most guys, i don't think of in a "sex" kind of way. really what is up with that? is that normal?

    thees things have me scratching my head. i honestly don't think im bi.
     
    #1 wolfy1, Sep 11, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2014
  2. RedSwiss

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Its possible to find people attractive without it tampering with your sexual orientation. For example, im gay, I know I would never, ever date a woman, but I can easily look at a woman and think "Oh, shes attractive, she has a nice figure, that dress looks nice on her, etc, etc."

    If you're having trouble categorizing yourself, just think what you would want to be in a relationship with. Labelling yourself as gay/bi/whatever else, is to display to other people what you're looking for from a partner. So for example, you said you could only see yourself in a relationship with a man, but not a woman, so you're probably gay, as opposed to bi.

    Concerning the panic attacks, and accepting it. One day, you will just have an epiphany, and you'll accept it. Before I really accepted it, I got rather depressed and swamped with it, however, one day (on christmas day, oddly enough.), I woke up, and I felt at peace, and natural, and I just thought there was no point in trying to battle against it. Its perfectly fine about being scared to tell people. Wait until you've really accepted it, and you understand yourself, before telling people, and even then, its ok to be scared. Coming out is just scary, and thats how it is for most people.

    and its perfectly normal to check people out, or find people good-looking, but not sexually magnetic. In the same way I, as a gay male, can find a woman good-looking, but not sexually attractive, the same happens for men as well. As a general basis, there are people who initially appeal to us more then others, based on a number of factors, some of which may cause them to become sexually attractive immediately, however, if you find a partner, who isn't sexually attractive at first, can become more attractive and appealing to you, as time goes on. Or, theres the possibility you're just not a sexual person. I know plenty of people, who just aren't interested in looking at people in a sexual manor, and prefer to value them on their personality and looks.

    Pretty much, you sound a bit confused currently, however, as time goes on, your own dynamics and preferences will become clearer to you, as you discover yourself more, and what you like/dislike. Just concerning your sexuality however, from the description you gave, I think you're gay, but you just have the ability to appreciate a woman's appearance, which doesn't mean anything concerning your sexuality.