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Straight? Gay? Bisexual? Bicurious? AAARGH!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by NonLeagueBloke, Sep 11, 2014.

  1. NonLeagueBloke

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    After reading the open and honest responses to similar threads, I've plucked up the courage to seek opinions about something I've never dared discuss:

    For my entire life, I've always assumed that I would grow up, maybe have one or two girlfriends before hooking up with the girl of my dreams (well, in an ideal world :icon_wink). But essentially I was always straight, and as I hit the early teenage years I started feeling little stirrings of attraction to certain girls. I never once even considered the idea of a relationship - emotional or sexual - with a guy. It's not that I found the idea of homosexuality "repulsive" or anything like that, it just didn't seem right for me.

    Here comes the inevitable "but": as most teenagers do, I eventually discovered porn, masturbation and all that. And it's safe to say I went a bit OTT, not doing it multiple times a day, but I started needing more hardcore stuff to get much out of it. And here submissive desires I never really knew I had started to come out and I started to fantasise about being on the receiving end of the more hardcore stuff. Essentially I started to be more turned on by gay sex and other similar stuff than I was by straight porn.

    Let me just clarify: emotionally I have no attraction to guys, I don't "check them out" in the changing room or find them physically attractive. I can't imagine myself in a long-term relationship with a man, it would just feel to awkward for me and I am much more emotionally interested in girls. I'm not saying I'm not at all turned on by a straight encounter, I just feel slightly more turned on by gay fantasies. Nowadays I've seen that porn is having a negative impact on me, by leaving me to constantly question my sexuality and by invading my thoughts too much, so I've cut down hard. This uncertainty is still getting me down, it all boils down to the fact that I am attracted to girls in every single way, apart from I am slightly more turned on guys sexually. So what's your opinion, am I gay, straight, bi or anything else? Thanks in advance.

    PS: I apologise for the rambling post, I have a lot to get off my chest
     
  2. wolfy1

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    i cant say that i am the best one to answer this, but im going to try my best.

    watching gay porn does not mean your gay. it can suggest you might be, but some straight guys just like to watch gay porn rather than straight. only you can truly say what your sexuality is. keep in mind that sexuality is not always a black and white (straight or gay) thing and that some people are sexually attracted to one gender and emotional attracted to another. who you like is who you like.

    the best advice i can say is just do what you feel comfortable with, and what you feel is being you. if you only want to be with a girl, there is nothing wrong with that, same as if you would want to be with a boy. all i have to say is be true to your self and just go with the flow. i don't know how old you are but i hid from my sexuality all threw my teenage years and feel terrible about it.

    i dont know how much of a help i was, but i tried. :icon_bigg
     
  3. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    Porn doesn't indicate sexuality. There are gay and straight people of both genders who watch same-sex porn of the gender they aren't into.

    Right now you sound mostly straight, but maybe bi-curious.
     
  4. TurtleCat

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    I agree that what porn you enjoy is not really a good indicator of your orientation, but who you actually imagine and fantasize about yourself with might be. My suggestion would be to take a break from the porn and see if you're still turned on by the thought of being with a guy, as porn addiction can cloud your judgment. I think if you're turned on by the thought of yourself with a guy, outside of porn, there's a chance you could be bi or at least curious.
     
  5. NonLeagueBloke

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    Thanks for the replies. Don't worry wolfy your reply was an illuminating read :slight_smile: All though I won't reveal too much, I am late teens, so I don't want the cloud of uncertainty hanging over me much longer really. I cut down on the porn pretty heavily a while back and that was where it started to unravel and I realised that as TurtleCat rightly said my judgement had been a bit clouded. I may well follow your advice and knock it completely on the head for a few weeks, see how I feel after that. Thanks again for your honest replies.
     
  6. Sabmis

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  7. Ryujin

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    *Mind implodes*

    I agree with the others though, porn does not determine your sexuality. After a while, if you still feel a sexual attraction to guys then that might mean something, but right now, we can't be sure.
     
  8. Sabmis

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    I don´t agree with former speakers (not entirely)

    Don´t stop watching gay porn if you like it! Maybe it´s a weird fetich of yours..
    And be open minded about all this. I don´t know how active your sex-life is, but I say: If It turns you on then maybe you should try it some day. you might like it more then you expected.
    Im not saying that I think you are gay.

    I actually thought a little bit about asexuality when I read you´re post.
    Do you think the naked female/male body is sexy (Do you ever get aroused by watching a naked girl?)
    Do you like gay porn because of what they are doing, or is it all the emotions in gay porn that you find sexy? I feel like gay porn is a lot more emotional while straight porn is a lot more about dominance and the girl moaning a lot.. (could be all wrong here)
    Does this even make any sense to you? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    If you decide not to watch gay porn. Then I suggest that you should try some porn with a lot of emotions. Porn with a boy and a girl who really like each other. And with a lot of foreplay. Maybe homemade porn...

    Do you think some type of asexuality could be it?

    (Excuse my English, I´m not from an english speaking country) :slight_smile: