I am curious about how to find a partner of the same sex that will be okay with my orientation. I don't want to give the wrong idea by jumping into a relationship and then being like by the way I don't want sex, but it's also awkward if I like a girl and then the first thing I say is that I'm panromantic. I feel like that's a big deal breaker because people aren't going to want someone who won't be that intimate because it seems like to a lot of people that that is like the final way to show someone how much you love them. I don't want them to think that I can't love them with all my heart just because I don't want to be that intimate. I also don't want them to think that since I'm heterosexual I will cheat on them with a guy, because if I am in a relationship I am 100% committed. Any advice?
You're going to have a really hard time finding a lesbian or bisexual girl that wants a relationship with you. I think you would be better off finding an asexual lesbian or bi woman if all you want is a romantic relationship and no sex. Most lesbian and bi women will want someone that wants to be with them romantically and sexually. Just of curiosity, you are romantically attracted to people of all genders, but you're only sexually attracted to men? I'm wondering why you specifically want a relationship with a woman when it seems like only men can give you both a sexually and romantically fulfilling relationship.
Thanks for the reply! To answer your question, I'm not really sure honestly. I've never been in a relationship with a girl before, but I've been finding myself more attracted to them lately. I know it will be hard with my specifications. The thing is (and I know I've said differently in other threads but I'm still trying to figure it out) I think if I really loved her I would try sex because obviously it seems unfair to write off something you've never experienced, but I don't want to go into a relationship saying I'm completely open to it and then get someones hopes up when I find I can't. Also, about men being more fulfilling: I am still a virgin so I don't know how this may change when I no longer am, but so far sex just really isn't something that's ever been very important to me. I know i'm not asexual because I do have urges, but it's just never been something I've wanted to seek out specifically. I think I would be perfectly fine in a relationship that wasn't sexual.
When you have sexual urges, do you only fantasize about men? Or do you fantasize about women as well? Sorry if these questions are too personal, I'm just trying to understand things a bit better to give you better advice.
Well, and this is just my opinion... I personally think if you're interested in a romantic relationship with a woman, you should at least consider having sex with them, that is, unless the idea grosses you out or turns you off completely, in which case I apologize... And I know this is a bit of a cliche, but I think a lot of times for us women, sex isn't about the arousal so much as emotions and intimacy anyway. I know a lot of times I had sex with my husband, it wasn't about getting off so much as feeling closer to him, and making him feel good.
No, it's fine. I mostly fantasize about men, although I have tried fantasizing about women and while it does have some reaction it's not nearly as strong as when it's men. I have had a lot of dreams where I am like kissing girls and stuff and in the dream it is fine and feels normal and I believe it would in real life too, except I find it being with people who I am definitely not attracted to romantically or sexually. It's just all very confusing, sorry. :icon_redf ---------- Post added 13th Sep 2014 at 09:52 AM ---------- That's very true, thanks for the reply!
