Just when I think I'm sure I am gay, a spark happened between my husband and I that brought back all that intimacy we used to have before I withdrew myself. I realized that I really missed him and his touch. It felt like a reunion. I don't know if it's just because I will be overseas for a month and I am getting emotional about it - or if this really means I am bisexual and not gay. Why all the pain of questioning and the involuntary decrease of attraction towards men and the obsession with women for the past 1.5 years...pushing me to the brink of divorce, only to suddenly be 'normal'? I couldn't hold back the tears during our brief intimate spark tonight. I wish it was clear cut for me. But I still know I don't want to date men. My husband is an exception for me at this time. I wish there was a test I could take to diagnose my sexuality. What does this mean? Does this mean I should stay? After all the unraveling I have been doing and slowly grieving my marriage? I still want to go back to America and get the independence and alone time that I never had, to figure out who I am and what I want in life...but this makes it so much harder! I am recalling all the deep love I have had for him. I don't want to love him like this, it makes it so much harder to leave .
Dear Maddie, I know what you feel. Questioning my sexuality is one of the hardest things I ever did. It seems that you love your husband. There are a lot of women like you out there. Have you heard about shybi? Maybe you should check out this forum. (*hug*)
