Recently, I have been noticing that girls make me very uncomfortable. Girls that I would consider "pretty" if I was straight especially. I'm totally fine around guys because attractive guys are few and far between in my eyes. This is very confusing, and honestly I don't want to admit I have an attraction towards girls, but I do even though I don't want it. I want to meet a beautiful, sweet, funny guy and get married. I'm not interested in girls. But my brain isn't getting with the program apparently... I have read a recent thread where other gay guys have the same problem. It's just really annoying and I wish it would go away so I can just be gay in peace. There are a number of contributing factors however I believe; First off I'm just a social awkward person in general, I'm shy and its hard for me to go talk to new people, and I'm homeschooling this year so I don't get as much social exposure if you will (I still have a social outlet that I go to almost every day). I can't tell if it's just me being awkward, or if I'm just not gay. I WANT to be gay though. I can't explain it any other way than that it just fits me. Any advice? Are there any questions I can answer to help you better understand my situation?
You might be a biromantic gay person? Just a random thought which might fit. Do you think you could be sexual with a girl? Would you enjoy it? Sexuality is not black and white, you may indeed be Kinsey 4 like you say. Cheers, Quem
Are you attracted to them in anyway, my discomfort around girls is because they are alien to me as I don't talk to girls outside relatives really. I'm uncomfortable around guys i like because I want them to think im cool, but not around guys i don't like sexually because i have nothing to lose.
It probably is a combination of social awkwardness, discomfort with them because they might seem foreign, and being conditioned to feel like that around pretty girls by society. Awkwardness doesn't equal attraction
Maybe youre uncomfortable around pretty girls because you feel intimidated in a way? I have social anxiety and find it extremely difficult to be around pretty people, not because I am attracted to them, but because I feel almost inferior. I don't know if this helps but I hope so. Good luck,
Thanks for the input everyone Quem- I want to be with a man romantically and sexually, but I'm not sure I wouldn't enjoy sex with a woman. Maybe I'm really bisexual and I was jumping to conclusions? The thing is, I don't want to WANT to be with a girl, but I probably could if I wanted it... I will admit that the female form is beautiful. argh so confused. ChromeDome & Skov- I also don't really talk to girls outside of family, and I don't have any friends that are girls. That probably doesn't help me be less awkward. I think that "being conditioned" by society to feel that way is a very legitimate thing. I was raised to respect women and not to objectify them, so seeing an attractive girl always felt wrong to me because I liked what I saw and it made me uncomfortable because I didn't want to like it. Yosquidgy- I can relate to that. I guess I may just be uncomfortable around both genders. I'm just awkward around people that are new to me in general.
If you feel sexually and romantically attractive to guys and you are fine with it then you can rest assured that you are gay, now are you completely gay or can you still feel sexual and romantic attraction to women. That's the thing you need to work on. Actually, just like you, I also feel very bad if I objectify a women, I feel it's wrong and so not okay. I also thought that because I thought that way and also found girls to be beautiful I had to be bisexual, that was not the case for me. I learned that I deeply respect women because that was how I was raised but what made me realize I felt nothing sexual for them was that my body didn't react to women no matter how beautiful, sexy and provocative she could be and it hit me, I'm completely gay and it's okay for me to admire a woman's beauty. I do believe I could fall in love with a girl, maybe you and me are the same on that aspect. I could love her on an emotional, romantic level, but never on a sexual level because I'm only sexually interested in guys.
in so may ways we are both in the same boat . (*hug*). i think you feel a little more of an attraction than me, but i always feel something, its not a sexual attraction, at least i don't think it is because its not like i have any wants to kiss them or sleep with them... so i think it might be social awkwardness, or maybe its me feeling inferior to them because of the confidence they appear to have that i don't have. maybe i just think there pretty.. like, its ok for a gay man to think a girl is pretty... right? Kabuki seems to think its ok... i also see a lot of other people on here tell me its ok to think a girl it pretty and still be gay. i even find it hard to look at them sometimes because i feel like if i admire them, it will throw me into mass confusion again. maybe since we know were gay, were trying to accept it and subconsciously we try to drown out girls because there interfering with us trying to get things understood in our head?? i remember you saying "Ohmygod! I'm not alone! I feel so damn awkward around girls and it's kinda making me angry. I'm just like Brain. Brain what Ru doin. Brain staph! I'm not interested!" yesterday in one of my threads about this... and i do the same thing when i do actually look at a girl. i think it goes back to thinking they are pretty, but since we are still trying to figure thing out in our head, we read too much into it, and think we feel something more than we are.
Thanks Kabuki and Wolfy1. That makes a lot of sense to me, and it's basically how I feel. Up until about a year ago, I had never put any thought into not being straight. I thought i was bisexual for a while, but after contemplation I felt my attraction for men both physically and romantically increasing as the way i felt towards women decreased. Being gay is a pretty new feeling because it has only showed itself to me within the past few months. To be really honest, I can't "get it up" for the image of a hot guy like I used to for girls, but I haven't tried for a long time. It's just so confusing because I, like you guys, know what I want but my mind is a mess.
Wow. That's pretty much exactly how I'm feeling. You would have to switch guys and girls out of course, but still. Maybe we both have aesthetic attraction towards the opposite sex, meaning that while we admire their appearance, we don't want a relationship with them or anything. That's just my thoughts though. Good luck.
Now that I'm considering it, I do really find the female form beautiful. It's just hard to discern whether that attraction is also sexual sometimes I guess which was why I'm confused. Thanks for all the help guys! I really appreciate knowing I'm not alone.
No problem Epic The female form is really a complete masterpiece so it's no wonder you might feel confused about your own sexuality. Just give yourself time to figure that aspect out, don't rush your feelings or anything to proof or disproof. I'm sure that in time you will understand your attraction to women, if it's sexual and romantic, or just romantic/emotional.
Yes me too. ---------- Post added 18th Sep 2014 at 04:55 AM ---------- I even get dreams about guys I meet - especially one who I know from school (I think I'm in love because I get giddy and nervous around him)
